Cassie exhaled, not realizing she’d been holding her breath, and nodded. “Thank you for understanding.”
Nick reached out and ran his hand down her upper arm, his fingers cool against her bare skin. “Good night, Cassie.”
She wavered as he turned and walked out the door. She wanted to go. She wanted to have fun again. To live again. Her eyes flashed toward the family picture on the mantle. Taken right after Birdie had been born, it depicted a very exhausted Cassie and an exuberant Henry. “I’m a dad! You made me a dad!” he’d said over and over to her.
“Henry would want you to be happy again,” her mom said gently from across the room.
Cassie whirled. “How long have you been eavesdropping?”
“Long enough to know you’re missing a chance to spend time with a great guy. You don’t need to punish yourself. Henry died, but you didn’t.”
Cassie twisted the plain band on her left ring finger and bit her lip.
“It’s one night at a carnival. Birdie would have a lot of fun. And you might, too,” Anna prodded.
Before she could change her mind, Cassie flung open the front door. Stepping onto the porch, she called out, “Nick!”
He paused and looked back at her.
“I’d like to go. To the carnival, I mean.”
He broke into a wide smile, his cheeks dimpling either side of it. “Great! I’ll pick you and Birdie up around six on Friday, if that works?”
Cassie nodded, anxiety already swirling in her stomach. This would be the first one-on-one time she’d spent with any man besides Henry in over a decade. What had she done?
“What did he say about the journal?” Anna asked as she stepped back inside.
Cassie covered her face with her hands. “Ugh, I completely spaced. We started talking about Birdie and then he brought up the carnival. I can’t believe I forgot.”
Anna chuckled. “He really flusters you, doesn’t he?”
“No!” Cassie glared out at her through her splayed fingers. “I got sidetracked. That’s all.”
“Then just call him tomorrow morning and ask.” Anna smirked. “No big deal, right?”
“Yeah.” Cassie grimaced, her pulse already increasing at the idea of “just” calling him. “No big deal.”
18
KATYA
Ukraine, February 1932
Katya pulled herself out of bed, and a gush of water spilled down her legs.
“Mama?” Her voice wavered, and fear made her mouth dry. “Are you awake?”
Mama sat up, looked down at the wet ground, and sprang up as if she’d been coiled and waiting for Katya’s word to release her. “Lie back down,” she instructed.
“But it’s not time yet!” Katya cried. Her legs shook as she fell back into the bed. “It’s too early!”
Mama shushed Katya, but worry clouded her face. She barked out orders for Kolya to go fetch Lena, then ran a cool hand over Katya’s brow. “Lay back and try to relax. These things usually take some time.”
Katya nodded as a wave of pain rolled through her stomach. She clutched at her mother’s hand. “It hurts!”
“I know, Katya, but you must be strong. At the end of this pain, you will have your sweet baby.”
Alina approached the bed on unsteady feet. “How are you feeling?”
“It’s getting better,” Katya said, as the vice squeezing her abdomen waned.
“I don’t want to lie to you.” Alina’s worried eyes looked large in her peaked face. “It will get much worse.”
“I know,” Katya said. “I saw you go through it, remember?”
Alina gave a weak laugh. “You’re much tougher than me. Always have been. You’ll be fine, Katya, and I promise, it’s all worth it in the end.” She took Katya’s hand. “I am here with you, sister. I won’t leave your side.”
Katya shot her a grateful smile. “Thank you.”
Unlike Alina, Katya’s labor progressed fast. By the time Kolya returned with Lena, and then slipped back out the door, the contractions were coming every few minutes. They ripped through Katya like nothing she’d ever experienced, tightening her abdomen into a hard knot, but she didn’t scream. This suffering would lead to her baby and to that piece of Pavlo she’d been dreaming about.
“It’s good to shout.” Lena looked up at Katya from between her legs. “It will help you push.”
Katya shook her head no, but a groan slipped past her lips as Mama wiped her forehead. Doing this alone, without Pavlo, meant she had to be strong enough on her own. So Katya shoved a pillow in her mouth and bit down with each push.