Bobby wrung her hands and ignored the question as she scanned the room like a caged animal.
Cassie’s mind raced for a distraction. In a light voice, she said, “Tell me what you would pack to be ready.”
Bobby’s terror-filled eyes locked on hers. “I packed warm clothes and blankets. They put you on cattle cars and send you to the gulags. It’s very cold. They don’t give you blankets.”
“That was smart to pack blankets. Here, why don’t you lie back and rest, and I’ll go look for a bag.” Cassie spoke in a calming tone as she dimmed the lights.
“I packed food, too,” Bobby went on, but her voice had quieted. “When I could. But we didn’t always have food to pack.”
“That must have been very hard.” Cassie leaned over and smoothed her hair. “How about I take care of all that? Why don’t you close your eyes and rest, okay?”
“For a little bit,” Bobby agreed. “I am tired. But don’t forget to pack our things.”
“I’ll sit here with you until you fall asleep, then I’ll pack.”
“Thank you, Alina,” Bobby mumbled.
Cassie startled. Alina. Her sister. What had happened to Alina and why did she still haunt Bobby?
After a few minutes, Cassie crept down the hall to peek in on Birdie. She slept peacefully, one arm slung over her head, legs dangling off the bed. Cassie planted a soft kiss on her forehead, then straightened at the sound of Bobby talking.
On tiptoe, as to not startle her grandmother, she crept back down the hall and stopped when she saw Bobby sitting up on the couch.
“Alina?” Bobby said quietly. “Are you here?”
The silence echoed around them.
“So much has happened since I lost you.” She paused, waiting for a response. “I have a great-granddaughter now. Would you believe I lived long enough to see such a thing? I’ve been telling her stories about when we were girls.”
She gave a low sob, then went on, the raw grief in her voice so tangible Cassie winced. “I’m sorry, Alina. I’m so sorry for everything that happened. I never meant to hurt you. I hope you know that. I light the candle so you can come back to me, but I think I’ve failed you too much.”
The clock chimed, announcing the hour. Bobby closed her eyes, and Cassie could feel her grandmother willing something to happen, someone to speak. Her pulse raced as she watched the tragic scene. As crazy as it was, she almost expected Alina to manifest in front of her.
But there was only silence.
Gingerly, Bobby lay down next to the spot Birdie talked to and reached her hand out toward the nothingness. Tears ran in crooked courses down her grooved cheeks. “I’ll keep waiting, Alina.”
She closed her eyes, and her breathing evened out. Cassie inched closer and watched her shoulders rise and fall in a steady rhythm. When she was convinced Bobby was asleep, she ran to the kitchen. If she couldn’t read the journal on her own, maybe researching what life was like in Ukraine back then would give her some insight.
She plugged the internet cable into her laptop and—for once grateful for her mom’s pushiness—punched in the login information stuck on the refrigerator, then opened up the search bar and typed “Ukraine, 1930s”。
The first entries shocked her.
Holodomor, death by hunger, terror-famine, Stalin, death toll estimates from 4–10 million. The horrific words screamed out at her from the screen. Pictures of bloated bellies and emaciated bodies both drew her in and repulsed her at the same time. Children with large heads perched on spindly bodies stared out at her with haunted eyes.
Cassie blanched as she clicked on picture after picture. “Oh, my God,” she whispered. “How did I not know about this? If she lived through a forced famine, it’s no wonder she hoards food.”
“What’s a famine?” Birdie’s little voice piped.
“I thought you were in bed!” Cassie slammed the computer screen down so her daughter wouldn’t see the pictures. “A famine is when people don’t have enough food. They get very hungry.”
“Oh, yeah.” Birdie nodded in an understanding way that belied her young age. “Alina and Katya were really hungry all the time. I heard all about it.”
From who? Cassie wondered. But before she could press for more answers, her mom came in the back door.
“Hello!” Anna bent and kissed Birdie on the cheek. “Why don’t you go pick out a few books for me to read to you. Wait in your room and I’ll be right there.”