Shock and hurt mingle in his eyes to create a dark cloud. “Are you fucking serious?”
I nod.
“Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I didn’t want you trying to change my mind. I knew the day I accepted the scholarship to Briar that I wouldn’t be going pro.”
“But…” He’s sputtering now. “What about all that talk about you and me in Bruins jerseys?”
“Just talk, G.” My tone is as miserable as my future. “Jeff and I made a deal. He works here while I’m at school, and then we switch off.”
“That’s bullshit,” Garrett says again. Vehemently this time.
“No, it’s life. Jeff did his time, now it’s my turn. Someone has to, or else my dad will lose his business, and the house, and—”
“And that’s his problem,” Garrett interjects, his gray eyes blazing. “I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but it’s true. It’s not your responsibility to take care of him.”
“Yes, it is. He’s my dad.” Regret seizes my throat. “He might be a drunk, and a total asshole sometimes, but he’s sick, G. And he got in a car accident a few years back and fucked up his legs pretty bad, so now he has chronic pain and can barely walk.” I swallow, trying to tamp down the sorrow. “Maybe we’ll be able to get him back to rehab one day. Maybe not. Either way, I need to step up and take care of him. It won’t be forever.”
“How long then?”
“Until Jeff gets the travel bug out of his system,” I say weakly. “He and his girlfriend are going to spend a few years trekking through Europe, and then they’re coming back and settling in Hastings. Jeff will run the garage again, and I’ll be free.”
Disbelief drips from Garrett’s voice. “So you’re putting your life on hold? For years?”
“Yes.”
The silence that follows only heightens my discomfort. I know Garrett disapproves of my plans, but there’s nothing I can do about that. Jeff and I had a deal, and I have no choice but to stick to it.
“You never had any intention of calling that agent.”
“No,” I confess.
His jaw tightens. Then he lets out a heavy breath that has him sagging forward. He rakes one hand over his scalp. “I wish you told me all this before. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have harassed you about the pros all year.”
“Tell you that my future is as bleak as a prison sentence? No, that it pretty much is a prison sentence? I don’t even like to think about it, G.”
I stare straight ahead at nothing in particular. The sun has already set, but there’s still some light in the sky, giving me a perfect view of the property. The outdated bungalow and dandelion-riddled lawn.
The backdrop to the life I’m going to lead after I graduate.
“Is this why you’ve been partying like there’s no tomorrow?” Garrett demands. “Because you believe there literally isn’t a tomorrow?”
“Look around, man.” I gesture to the sun-browned grass and old tires strewn on the dirt. “This is my tomorrow.”
He sighs. “So, what, you knew you weren’t going to have the NHL experience so you figured, hey, might as well take advantage of the minor celebrity college status and enjoy this constant stream of easy pussy?” Garrett looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “Please don’t tell me you’ve been playing hockey since you could walk for the sole purpose of getting laid.”
I scowl at him. “Of course not. That’s just a perk.”
“A perk, huh? Then what are you doing lusting over a relationship?” He arches a brow. “Yeah, she told me.”
“What exactly are we discussing here, G? My sex life? Because I thought we were talking about my future. Which, by the way, is a fucking joke, okay? I don’t have a damn thing to look forward to. No hockey, no girls, no choices.”
“That’s not true.” He pauses. “You’ve got a year.”
A crease digs into my forehead. “What?”
“You’ve got a whole year, John. Your senior year. For one more year, you do have choices. You have hockey, and your friends, and if you want a girlfriend, you can have that too.” He snorts. “But that means keeping your dick out of party girls who have the IQ of a hockey stick.”
I bite the inside of my cheek.
“You want my advice?” Sincerity shines in his eyes. “If I knew I had one year left before I—I was about to say had to, but I maintain that you don’t have to do anything. You choose to, but whatever, you’ve made your choice. But if I knew I had to put my life on hold starting next year, I’d make the most of the time I had left. Stop doing things that make you feel empty. Have fun. Make things right with that girl, if that’s what’ll make you happy. Quit sulking and make the most of your senior year.”