It went south fast. The guy started calling me nasty names.
And then in came What_The_Charles_Dickens like a total badass, cutting him off at the rhetorical knees. I mean, I didn’t need a Reddit knight in shining armor, but I wasn’t opposed to one. And thus began our online bookish friendship.
By unspoken agreement, What_The_Charles_Dickens, aka Mr. Reddit, and I talk only in the evenings on a chat platform, Telegram, that requires you to register with your phone number but allows you to show only your username. Knowing my propensity to hyper-focus, bordering on obsess, I’ve purposefully not downloaded the Telegram app on my phone, meaning I can only chat with him when I’m home on my computer.
Each night, after catching up with June and/or Eli, depending on their work schedules, then dinner and a shower, I settle in at my desk, Gingerbread on my lap, and wind down the day talking with Mr. Reddit. I’m a creature of habit, and he’s become a vital part of my routine. That’s why when I turn back to the screen and open up my Telegram desktop chat, my heart sinks. There’s no new message.
It’s rare that Mr. Reddit doesn’t leave a message for me. Since we started talking, it’s happened twice, and both times he later explained he’d been sick and unable to write.
I take a deep breath, try to exhale my disappointment, and scroll through yesterday evening’s chat between formerly What_The_Charles_Dickens, who switched his username to Mr. Reddit since I slipped about it being my roommate’s nickname for him, and MargaretCATwood, or as Mr. Reddit dubbed me, MCAT, because I can’t help myself. I start with his message that was waiting for me when I sat down last night.
MR. REDDIT: Can we talk about how Marianne Dashwood needs some deep-breathing exercises?
MCAT: She’s a hopeless romantic. She’s supposed to come across as a little dramatic.
He’s reading Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, because I gave him hell for only having read Pride and Prejudice.
MR. REDDIT: A little dramatic? “It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.” Seriously? Seven days “to determine intimacy”？ With that sage wisdom guiding her romantic life, not gonna lie, I’m guessing Marianne falls for a jerk.
MCAT: I mean, yes, she falls for a guy who turns out to be a cad. But it’s not all on her! He sweeps her off her feet and conveniently neglects to tell her he’s broke and needs to marry an heiress, which Marianne definitely isn’t. She gets her heart broken, so be nice to her.
MR. REDDIT: SPOILERS!
MCAT: Oh come on, she’s the hopeless romantic in the novel. You knew Austen was going to crush her soul.
MR. REDDIT: SPOILERS, CATWOOD.
MCAT: I’m sorry!
MR. REDDIT: Sure you are.
MCAT: I am! I didn’t think I was in spoiler territory. I thought it was obvious.
MR. REDDIT: It’s anything but obvious! I’m reading a romance, expecting the guy she’s falling for to be a keeper, not a heartbreaker.
Even though I’m rereading it, I gasp again. Gingerbread blinks up at me sleepily and rolls onto her back. Rubbing her tummy, I sigh dramatically and shake my head. “Don’t worry, Gingerbread, I showed him the error of his ways.”
MCAT: Mr. Reddit. Austen’s stories are often romantic, but they’re not exactly romances in the modern sense. They’re novels of manners first and foremost.
MR. REDDIT: Wow. I thought Austen was one of the earliest and most influential romance novelists.
MCAT: Well her work’s been romanticized by popular culture, made into movies that emphasize the romantic aspects. And Pride and Prejudice is absolutely swoony as hell, I can’t argue with that. Her other novels have some incredibly romantic storylines and moments, too. She’s just…not necessarily a romance novelist in the full sense of the genre. Much as I adore Austen, there’s so much more to romance, and I wish more people knew that.
MR. REDDIT: I wish I’d known, too. Because foolishly I was expecting a HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
MCAT: Well, at least you know that criteria for romance—the HEA.
MR. REDDIT: I know we talk about a lot of different books, but I get the feeling romance is your favorite genre. Am I right?
MCAT: Definitely. It’s all I can read lately—well, besides buddy-rereading Austen with you.
Once upon a time I read a variety of fiction, but the past few months, it’s only been romance. After dueling with Jonathan Bah-Humbug Frost all day, I need assholes to get their comeuppance and happy endings only. I also sell a ton of romance at the bookstore. I’m passionate about getting people to challenge those uncharitable stereotypes about the genre and give it a try. I was prepared for Mr. Reddit to display some of those prejudices, too.