The cab pulls up at Seventy-Second and Central Park West. Ella pays the driver and they vault out of the car.
She looks about. Another image comes to her. During breaks from college, trolling the park after midnight. A perilous endeavor, even in the much safer era of NYC. Essentially, tempting someone to try it. She’d find the darkest sections—the Ramble, the North Woods, the ruins—and walk alone. Pepper spray at the ready, she’d think: go ahead, just you try. It was her way to take back control, but it never eradicated the fear in her bones.
She stands close to Chris, examining the phone, then walks ahead of him.
On the screen, Mr. Nirvana is talking again: “This is the Whisper Bench, one of twelve secrets of the park I’ll cover in the next twelve hours. All night in Central Park!”
The vlogger places the camera at one end of the curved stone bench then goes to the far end, his back to the camera. In a soft voice, he says, “The secret here is that if you whisper on this end, you can hear it all the way over there where my camera is. Can you hear me?”
“This way.” Ella yanks Chris toward the Whisper Bench, just west of Belvedere Castle, which she marveled at as a girl.
As they run, Chris looks down at the screen, then up at their surroundings, then down again. They’re not the only ones tracking Nirvana. They need to find him before his fans chase him off.
“There!”
Chris points at a figure. The man is holding up a camera that has a light mounted to it, shining like a spotlight in the darkness.
The man is about twenty yards away. They’re getting closer. Chris stops unexpectedly, seemingly lost in thought. Like this is a moment he’s dreamed about, and it’s about to happen.
The light disappears; the vlogger either turned it off or rounded the corner. The livestream has a slight delay. Ella looks up from the screen to Chris.
“He’s just around the corner ahead. You ready?”
Chris drags a hand slowly over his face. Ella is concerned. He’s still looking ashen, slightly out of it. He’s concussed and the exertion might even be dangerous.
“I’m ready,” he says. “Are you?”
It’s a good question, one she doesn’t know the answer to. What will she do if this is Him? And what if he is the killer—isn’t approaching him dangerous? It’s dawned on her that Mr. Nirvana is in the U.S. at the same time as the ice cream murders. A dreadful coincidence or something else?
Chris is searching her face. Her nerves are on fire, she’s almost sick with unease. She decides that it’s time to confront her fears. She starts by saying His name for the first time in fifteen years: “Vince Whitaker.”
Chris looks at her, confused.
Ella grabs his arm and they run toward the man.
CHAPTER 63
CHRIS
The moment of truth.
Mr. Nirvana is holding up his camera, narrating, his back turned to them. So close now.
Chris looks at Ella. Behind her steely resolve, he sees trepidation. He realizes that for him, this could be a reunion with a long-lost family member, a fabled hero in his story. For her, it’s something else entirely. A reunion, of sorts, yes. But with someone she’s long believed shattered her life.
He takes her hand, squeezes it. “You don’t have to come.”
She catches his gaze. “No, I do.”
They face one another and, with a mutual nod, walk hand-in-hand toward Mr. Nirvana.
His back is still to them, the camera aimed at a castle-like structure. He’s saying something to his viewers, his fans. Chris sees a few park dwellers up ahead pointing to Mr. Nirvana as well. They’re not the only people who’ve found him.
“Vince,” Chris calls out.
The man doesn’t respond, but Chris swears there’s a nearly indiscernible reaction, a hitch in the man’s step.
They near the vlogger, who continues narrating his livestream. He has the same build as Vince. His voice sounds familiar, but it has been so long.
“Vince!” Chris says, louder. He feels Ella’s grip on his hand tighten.
The man spins around. “Sorry, bro. I don’t know who you’re looking for, but I’m in the middle of filming.”
After so many years, longing for this moment, practicing what he would say, how he would say it, how he would manage to hold back the tears and the pain and the loss, and embrace the brother who kept him safe, the older sibling who insisted that Chris work hard to find a way out, to find nirvana.
At last, that day is here.
But it’s not Vince.
CHAPTER 64
Chris and Ella walk in silence through the park, hungover from the booze and raw emotion. Disappointment swells in Chris’s chest. Ella paces trancelike next to him. Neither has said anything in a long time.