Chapter 41
Kelsey was unsure what to make of all that was happening. Her emotions had spanned a wide spectrum. First anger toward her prioress, then amazement, distrust, confusion, and finally curiosity. The comment What if Pius XII was wrong had definitely intrigued her. Which had surely been its purpose. But her superior had declined to elaborate any further, saying that they were needed across town and all would be explained then.
揂nd pack your things,?the prioress said. 揧ou won抰 be returning.?
They抎 both left the apartment and headed out on the streets. She wanted to call Nick and tell him she was leaving but the prioress had insisted that she surrender her phone. She抎 first donned the dark-green smock that all the sisters of Saint-Luke wore, but her prioress had told her to change back into street clothes. She rarely wore her habit while on assignment. It was just easier to look like everyone else than to explain her presence. But she抎 thought the assignment over, time to re-don her uniform.
揥here are we going??she asked, a bit irritated at the silence.
揝ister, somewhere along the way you抳e lost sight of the fact that I抦 your superior. I don抰 have to explain myself.?
揧ou lost my unquestioned allegiance when you lied to me.?
揑 never lied. I simply withheld the entire story. And, by the way, you lied too. I asked if there were copies of those images and you said no.?
揟here were no copies. Just my original file.?
揗oved somewhere else. Now who is splitting hairs??
She desperately wanted to make sense of things, but realized that the prioress was only going to tell her the barest minimum.
揥e are going to meet some people who can answer your questions,?her prioress suddenly said.
揟hank you. For telling me.?
They were headed away from Saint Bavo抯， past a row of local landmarks, strung together like rides at Disneyland. First the Belfort, the ancient bell tower lit to the night. Then the Stadshal, an odd-shaped canopy that stood at nearly the center of town. And finally two churches, the first dedicated to St. Nicholas, the second, across the river, to St. Michael. She抎 walked by here many times over the past few weeks, enjoying the sights. One of the things she truly missed from before taking her vows was unlimited human interaction. Living within a convent came with limitations. Some she liked, others not so much. Being on assignment offered her the freedom to interact at will. She抎 always been a social animal, unlike Nick who leaned more toward being a loner. That was another thing that had made them great together. Their strengths and weaknesses had complemented the other抯。
揚rioress, I抦 sorry for my impertinence,?she felt compelled to say. 揃ut this situation is extraordinary, to say the least.?
Which seemed like an understatement.
揑 am telling myself,?the older woman noted, 搕hat this is indeed a difficult situation. For us both. So I am trying hard to ignore your disrespect.?
There were definitely difficult aspects to a religious life. But most were not all that different from the nicks and bumps that came in all walks of life. Marriage. Career. Family. Raising children. All of it was hard. For so long she抎 wanted a sign to tell her that if she joined a convent everything would be okay. Life would work itself out and she抎 finally be content. But no such divine message ever came. So she抎 ignored the voices inside her head and procrastinated for years. It took an impending wedding for God to finally acquire her undivided attention.
She loved the convent and living with the sisters. She missed her family, but they visited at least once a year. Either she flew home to the United States, or they came to Europe. Thanks to her restoration work she抎 had the opportunity to meet all types of people and learn from them. She抎 been fortunate to be part of some really fascinating projects. It seemed her place to help bring back what had been lost. Which was why the destruction of the twelfth panel had struck her so hard.
She knew several published writers in the art field and the number one question they always heard was, Where do you get your ideas? For a nun there were three equally common topics for questions. The first was superficial. Why do you cover your hair? Or why wear black robes? Why do you have knots in your belt or a cincture at your waist? The second dealt with practicalities, like what do you do all day or how do you support yourself? The third was the most intriguing. Why are there monks and nuns at all? What purpose do they serve? What good do they do? Those were the questions she抎 posed to the woman who抎 come to see her from the Congregation of Saint-Luke. The woman who provided her with answers that made sense and who eventually brought her to the convent. She was gone now, God rest her soul, having died five years ago. Liver cancer. Kelsey missed her. Especially right now. That woman had never, ever lied to her.