“This wasn’t about you. I mean, what I said and what I did had nothing to do with you. It’s between me and Sadie and was none of your business.” It was like every possible wrong word that could fall out of my mouth did. I wished I could take it all back as soon as I’d said it.
His expression went flat. “Right. It is none of my business. You’ve made it abundantly clear from the beginning that you don’t want me to be part of your life. You kept me at arm’s length, even when I could tell you liked me, too. And I wanted to be with you so badly that I was willing to overlook it. I just ignored my instincts that something was going on.”
Desperation began to build inside me. “Camden, wait. You haven’t let me explain yet. There’s a reason why I did what I did.” I reached for his forearm, but he pulled it out of my reach.
“I don’t need an explanation right now,” Camden said, averting his gaze from me. His expression shattered me. He looked like he felt used, when that was so far from what had actually happened. Before I could tell him as much, he said, “What I need is to go for a walk.”
Watching him walk away . . . it was like I recalled every bad thing that had ever happened to me. Every time my heart had been broken, my trust betrayed, the rug pulled out from under my feet, every time it seemed like things were never going to be okay again—this moment was a thousand times worse than all of those combined.
I’d known it. I’d known this would happen. That he would find out the truth and leave. He’d just proved me completely right. Krista had said I couldn’t predict behavior, but I’d called this.
My chest physically hurt, as if someone had torn me open with their bare hands and pried out my heart. I had to cling to the back of my chair to stay upright. There was a stinging in my throat as anguish lanced through me, clawing at the pieces of me that were still functioning.
I realized that this incredible pain, one that threatened to drag me under and hold me there, wasn’t because of regret or guilt or anything else.
I didn’t just like Camden. I’d said I was starting to have feelings for him, but that wasn’t it.
I’d fallen in love with him.
But I didn’t cry. Even though my chest felt constricted and my eyes watered and my throat felt like someone was pressing against it, I held in those tears. Because it felt like I didn’t deserve to cry. I had done this to myself.
I couldn’t let myself drown in my pain. Time to focus on putting one foot in front of the other because I still had responsibilities. I got up and let Troy know that Dan and Sadie had left, so he was officially off duty. He looked relieved. I didn’t have to say anything to Hank, given that all of the camera crews were already gone. Whether that was because they’d figured out that the newlyweds had left or because they’d inadvertently broadcast the ex-girlfriend drunken mother cake-toppling fiasco, I didn’t know.
Then I noticed Vinnie had his phone out and that he repeatedly said my name, and the name of my company, Something Borrowed. He pointed his phone at me, his expression angry, and my heart was so devastated over what had just happened with Camden that it took me a minute to register what was going on.
He was telling the whole world about me. About my company. He turned his phone on Dan’s cake-covered grandmother, and it wouldn’t take much for somebody to connect everything that had just happened with me and my business.
This wasn’t something my IT department could erase.
I was ruined. Anonymity was what I promised to all of my clients. I guessed Theresa had been right in her assumption that he would be furious about the money she’d spent and her lying to him, because Vinnie might have just single-handedly destroyed everything I’d created.
It was too much. All of this was too much for me to deal with. I had other issues to focus on. Like the wedding in New Jersey. My personal life was toast, but if I dwelled on that, I might never recover. I had to concentrate everything on my business.
Krista came over to me, looking alarmed at my expression. Even if I wasn’t screaming and crying, obviously I looked like I wanted to. “What happened?” she asked.
I had to get out of there. The longer I stood there and let Vinnie show my face to the world, the worse this would be. “Long story. I think it’s time we left for the airport.”
She nodded, without asking for more information. Which was good, because I didn’t think I had it in me to explain anything further without completely breaking down.
Krista and I collected our bags, and she asked one of the valets to grab us a taxi. We went into the bathroom to change into regular clothes and I debated what to do with my bridesmaid gown. I usually kept all of my bridesmaid dresses; I just wasn’t sure I wanted to have the memories associated with this one.