“Well, all right,” I say, as though this is a huge concession. “I came here for my Russian dolls. It’s this set of painted wooden dolls that fit inside each other. I’ve had them forever. My aim was to grab them and go. But then…” I gaze around the mound. “I guess other things took over.”
“I remember your Russian dolls.” Joe stares at me. “That’s what you came back for?”
“They mean a lot to me and I was worried they’d get lost, which is exactly what seems to have happened.” I heave a gusty sigh. “Dad says the last person who had them was Krista. Apparently she put them ‘somewhere safe,’ which was probably the bin. But never say never. I’m not giving up.”
“You mean, you haven’t found them?” He looks at me with an odd expression.
“Not yet. I know this all probably seems really stupid to you—”
“It doesn’t. It doesn’t at all.” He gives a sudden, incredulous laugh. “That’s really what you’ve been searching for, all this time?”
“Yes!” I say, affronted at his amusement. “Why?”
“Because I know where they are.”
“What?” I stare at him, stupefied.
“They’re in the hall. Right by the front door, on the windowsill.”
“In the hall?” I can’t quite process this. “The hall? They can’t be.”
“Wait here.”
Before I can reply, he’s getting up and hurrying down the mound, then breaking into a run across the grass. I watch him go, my head befuddled. How can Joe know where my Russian dolls are?
He can’t. He’s mistaken. He doesn’t know what Russian dolls are. Or it was them but now they’re gone…I mustn’t get my hopes up. As I wait, I’m breathless with tension, my hands knotted in each other, hardly daring to—
But then, just as my heart is almost juddering out of my chest, there he is. Returning over the lawn, up the mound. A flash of red in his hand. My dolls. My dolls. I stare at them, my eyes filling.
“Here you are.” Joe hands them over, and I breathe out as my fingers close around the familiar, smooth, beloved contours.
“Thanks,” I gulp. It seems such an inadequate word. “Thanks so much. I thought I’d never see them again.”
“I remember those,” says Joe, sinking down onto the rug beside me. “You’ve always had them.”
“Yes.”
“They’re…nice,” he offers, clearly searching for something to say about them. “I suppose they count as antiques, almost.”
“Maybe.” I nod.
I feel a bit wrung out. All that searching, and they were in the hall all the time. Krista really did put them somewhere safe. I can hardly believe it.
“But I was in the hall!” I say, suddenly raising my head. “How did I not see them?”
“They were half-hidden by the curtain,” says Joe. “I wouldn’t have noticed them myself, only I was hanging around outside the front door for a while. This one was staring at me the whole time.” He taps the biggest doll. “She’s a bit creepy. In my opinion,” he hastily adds, as I shoot a glare at him.
How did I miss them? I’m thinking incredulously. I guess I wasn’t at my most observant when I entered the hall and dashed into the coat cupboard. But if I’d only paused and done a quick sweep of the area…
Joe has clearly been following the same thought process.
“If you’d just said in the rosebush, I’m looking for my Russian dolls, I would have said, What, those ones? and I would have grabbed them for you.”
“I would have taken them,” I say slowly. “And said, Thanks. And then I would have left, straightaway. I would have got the next train back to London.”
I feel slightly stunned at this realization. If I’d told Joe about my dolls, I wouldn’t be here with him now. We wouldn’t have had the conversation in the cellar. Or the tree house. Or any of it. I shiver as I contemplate the near-miss I’ve had.
“That was a close one,” says Joe, raising his eyebrows at me. “We might never have…”
“Yes. I know.” And suddenly, as I gaze up at the man I nearly lost, I’m desperate not to make another wrong turn, into another wrong universe. “Joe, I know we’ve…” I swallow, my face hot. “But are we…Do you want…Where are we?”
Oh God, I’m blathering. But I don’t know what he thinks of us, of this. And I’ve realized I can’t go a moment longer without knowing the worst. Or the best. What was that this morning? Two old lovers having a last encounter, goodbye, thank you very much? Or was it…？