“Hear, hear!” chips in Lacey.
“You know, Tone’s had a marvelous year with his investments and all that,” says Krista proudly. “Swimming in profits.”
“Well,” says Dad, looking startled. “I wouldn’t—”
“Don’t be modest! You’ve made a stack!” Krista cuts him off proudly, and I see Bean wincing at Gus. Dad never usually talks about money. Nor does Mimi. It’s just not what they do.
“Tony!” says Lacey, twinkling at him. “You dark horse! Save some for me, won’t you?”
“Get in line!” retorts Krista to Lacey. “And now, since I’m standing up…we’ve got a very special announcement to make.” She simpers at Dad. “Haven’t we?”
I catch my breath. Oh my God. Here it comes. I glance at Bean, wishing she was down here with me and I could clutch her hand like I used to in scary films. She’s looking questioningly at Gus, who raises his eyebrows back, clearly meaning, No idea.
“Tony and I want to take things to the next level.” Krista beams at Dad. “So we’ll be holding a commitment ceremony in the autumn. In Portugal, probably. You’ll all be invited.”
For a moment I’m not sure how to react. A “commitment ceremony.” It could be worse. But it could be better.
“Congratulations!” exclaims Lacey. “Aw, you two lovebirds!” She beams at Dad, and he smiles back charmingly.
“Krista’s idea,” he says, and I have an overwhelming urge to burst out, exclaiming, It was Krista’s idea? No way! You’re kidding!
Bean and Gus haven’t said anything yet, and Krista seems aware of the awkward atmosphere, because she seems to spring into overdrive.
“And now, come on, time for some entertainment!” she exclaims. “Someone needs to put some music on! Call this a party?”
“We could sing!” says Dad heartily. “We’re all here… How about ‘Auld Lang Syne’？ Come on, everyone!” He crosses his arms and extends them to Gus and Bean, who both look startled. “Should auld acquaintance be forgot…”
As he starts to sing, only Lacey joins in, followed by Humph, who promptly changes his mind and stops. Dad jigs his arms up and down a few times to the ragged, unconvincing tune, waiting for Gus and Bean to take his hands, but neither moves a muscle. In fact, Bean looks frozen in awkwardness.
“I don’t really think…” she begins, whereupon Lacey stops singing, claps a hand over her mouth, and gives an expressive look to Krista.
“Maybe…later?” says Gus, and Dad’s tentative singing gradually dies away to nothing. He clears his throat, brings his arms back to where they were, and takes a slug of his drink, while everyone stares silently at their dessert.
Oh God. This is hideous. It’s mortifying. I can’t look at Dad; in fact, I can barely look at anyone. I’m prickling with embarrassment, and I’m not even at the table.
“Anyway,” says Bean at last, in the most false, desperate voice I’ve ever heard. “Congratulations on your…er…commitment, Dad and Krista. Sorry, I should have said straightaway…”
“Yes, absolutely.” Gus coughs. “It’s…um. Great news.”
“Super!” says Humph. “Lovely place, Portugal.”
“Let’s dance!” Krista breaks in determinedly. “Come on, what are we all still sitting here for? This is a party! Let’s get the music going!”
She gets up, strides into the sitting room, and calls, “Yoo-hoo! Where’s that playlist? We want to par-tay!” Then she marches back to the table and starts tugging at chairs. “Everyone! On the dance floor! Now! Finish your desserts later.”
I mean, you have to admire her tenacity. Within about two minutes, she’s chivvied everyone out of their seats, the DJ has taken up his position, colored lights are flickering around the sitting room, and “Dancing Queen” is blasting through the house.
The dining room is empty. I’m alone. Do I dare…？
Cautiously, I start lifting up the tapestry, then hastily drop it again as I hear the gunfire of approaching heels. They’re striding near. Is it Krista? Oh God. Oh shit. Has she discovered me?
I feel a spike of terror as the tapestry is suddenly lifted up. It’s all over. I’m revealed. I’ve failed. I shrink desperately into the shadows, trying to make myself invisible…There’s a soft thwack sound, and something fabric lands in my face, making me flinch. Then the tapestry falls down again. The heels retreat. I don’t know what on earth’s going on.