Joe stares back at her, dumbfounded. “Because…” He rubs his face. “OK, I don’t even know how to answer that.”
“Exactly!” says Lacey triumphantly, as though she’s scored a direct hit. “Humph, my love, you come with me. I’ll stay with you, make sure you’re all right. And then maybe you can show me your studio.” She bats her eyelashes seductively. “I’d love to learn more about your work.”
I bet she would. And his stately home. And his title. Although she’d better not be holding out for his massive great fortune—even I know that much.
She extends an arm for him to lean on, and the pair of them move off together, Humph hopping along beside her determined stride.
“Oh,” he suddenly says, remembering his old-school manners and turning back. “Please thank your father and Krista for a delightful party and tell them I’m sorry I couldn’t say goodbye in person. I’ll write, obviously.”
“Of course. And good luck!” I say, feeling a bit sorry for him. I wouldn’t like to be relying on either the rhu or Lacey for my happiness.
We watch them making their way round to the drive—then, as they disappear from view, we all subside and look at one another.
“I knew someone would get taken to A&E,” says Joe. “Don’t want to say, ‘I called it,’ but I called it.”
“It’s not brunch unless there’s a trip to A&E,” I say, feeling a bit hysterical. “Everyone knows that. Oh God…” As I survey the broken china littering the terrace and lawn, I start to laugh a slightly painful laugh. “Look at this place. That estate agent seemed absolutely freaked out.”
“He’s phoning the Van Beurens right now,” says Gus. “He’s saying, Quick! Move in before they wreck the place! They’re all crazy!”
“Oh God, you’re right. His face!” I give another gurgle of laughter. “Joe, are you sure you want to be associated with me? Because I have to warn you, I have a pretty sketchy family.”
“Oh, I’m used to you lot.” Joe flashes me a quick grin, then glances at Bean and back at me, a question in his face.
I turn to survey Bean and feel a little wrenching inside. She’s sitting with her bare feet pulled up onto her chair seat, her arms hunched round her knees, staring into the distance, not listening to any of us.
“Are you OK, Bean?” I ask anxiously. “You seem quite…stressed.”
“I’m not stressed,” she contradicts me at once.
“Bean.” I bite my lip. “Be honest.”
“Really, I’m not.” She turns to face me. “I’m not anything. Couldn’t care less. I’m over it. Don’t care about the house…don’t care about the family…don’t care about anything. It’s quite freeing, actually!” She gives a strange little laugh, which doesn’t sound anything like her.
I make a worried face at Joe, who frowns.
“Bean, listen,” I try again. “I’ll talk to Dad about the furniture—”
“Don’t bother.”
“But—”
“Whatever!” Bean cuts me off determinedly. “I mean, really, whatever. I feel like I’m an elastic band and I’ve been pulled too hard too many times, and you know what? I’m out of bounce. I give up. I’m going to the pub to eat crisps.” She pushes her chair back, slips on her sandals, and picks up her handbag. “All the crisps.”
“The pub!” exclaims Gus. He drains his wineglass, then stands up, teetering so much he has to grab on to his chair. “The pub. Tremendous idea. We should have gone to the pub in the first place. Why didn’t we?” He gestures emphatically, as though he’s giving a lecture to thousands. “It’s always a mistake not to go to the pub. Yet we never learn. We never learn.”
“Come on, then,” says Bean. “Let’s go. My round.”
“Will you go with them and make sure they’re OK?” I murmur quickly to Joe. “Bean’s in a really strange mood, and Gus’s totally pissed.”
“Of course,” he murmurs back. “But what about you? Aren’t you coming?”
“In a bit. I just have a little…unfinished business.”
“OK.” He nods and squeezes my arm briefly. “Got it.”
“Effie…” Bean comes over to me and gives me a sudden, unexpected hug. “I just need to say sorry. You were right. You were right about everything. You could see it all clearly and I was the deluded one.” She shakes her head. “We’re not a family anymore. It’s shattered. It’s broken. Over.”