The world spun as she sank onto the hood of her car.
“Get home, Penny. Now. If you don’t, I swear I’ll beat you to within an inch of your life.”
“I’m not scared of you.”
For a woman fifty pounds lighter than her husband, Penny did seem fearless. A metallic taste coated Rae’s mouth, and she couldn’t look away.
“I’m not telling you again.”
“Good. Because you’re not the boss of me.”
For proof, Penny swung a fist at Mik’s jaw. Nimble and quick, she landed the punch.
Before he could react, she’d sprinted away into the night.
Blood oozed from the corner of his mouth. Blinking slowly, he held his jaw. He looked comical then, swaying on his feet.
Rae found herself grinning. He really doesn’t know what hit him.
The thought, combined with the shock of physical violence, brought laughter gurgling up her throat. An inappropriate reaction.
A terrible miscalculation. For the rest of her life, she’d question why she didn’t scramble inside the car instead.
She blurted, “I guess wifey got in the last word.”
Anger surged across Mik’s face. “Who gave you permission to disrespect my wife?” Catching Rae by the shoulders, he stripped off her coat. She was about to scream when he clamped a hand across her mouth.
He shoved her into the car.
Chapter 30
Sharing the grim secret brought no relief.
Mostly, the telling brought shame. A black tide impossible for Rae to outrun. She let it rush over her.
Beside her on the couch, Griffin stared straight ahead. He gave no reaction.
When it seemed he’d never break the silence, she rushed into the void. Rae wasn’t sure which was worse. The telling, or the consternation turning Griffin’s features to stone.
“That night . . . I never should’ve opened the bottle of whiskey. Why did we even take it from your father’s liquor cabinet? Teenagers do the stupidest things.” Rae got to her feet. She needed to escape the black tide threatening to drown her. “It’s not like I’d ever been drunk before. That March after the White Hurricane, we’d only just started sneaking into your dad’s liquor cabinet—believing we were old enough to imbibe, which we weren’t. I guess I was getting bored, waiting for you to show up. Downing all those shots of whiskey was my first mistake.”
Nervously she cast a glance. Was Griffin listening? His eyes were glazed.
“My next mistake was sticking around. Once Mik and Penny came into the parking lot shouting at each other . . . I should’ve got back in the car. Right then, before everything spun out of control.”
Slowly Griffin lowered his elbows to his knees. He clasped his hands like a man seeking the solace of prayer.
Dragging her attention away, Rae looked out the window. “I didn’t have my cell phone—I was so upset with my dad that night, I’d stormed out without grabbing it. Even after I got to your house, I didn’t realize I didn’t have it. A typical Rae move, leaping without thinking. Anyway, I should’ve left the parking lot once the Galeckis showed up. Driven to the nearest house and banged on the door. It’s not like I could’ve driven home. I was too drunk.”
For a moment, she was angry at her younger self. Furious at the inexperienced girl whose actions led to terrible, unforeseen consequences. With effort she resisted the sinking sensation gelling inside her. The destructive thought had plagued her throughout her early twenties. As if she’d been responsible for her own rape.
It wasn’t my fault. I know that.
She knew the self-reproach was falsehood. Those corrosive thoughts only made the healing more difficult.
Rape is an act of violence. I’m not to blame.
“The last mistake I made that night? It was the biggest one of all.”
She leaned against the window’s glass, welcoming the chill. Welcoming the cold understanding. There was only one path forward. Live with the scars from that act of violence.
She was still learning.
“After Penny struck Mik, I should’ve kept my mouth shut. Griffin, I can’t explain it . . . it was terrifying and funny at the same time.” Miserable, she pressed her face fully to the glass. Pinpricks of pain chilled her skin. “No—that’s not accurate. That’s what I believed at the time. Probably believed for a long time afterward. Here’s the truth: I was so frightened, I automatically mouthed off. Went into my comfort zone of cracking jokes. As if I’d bring the situation under control by taking charge in the most asinine way. My stupid, impulsive habits. I always leap before I—”