“What Penny has is a very elaborate defense mechanism,” she explained. “It’s quite possible that before your sister came to live with you, she experienced some sort of extreme trauma—something very difficult for a young mind, still in its formative stages, to process. Think about it like compartmentalization. Do you know what that means, boys?”
We nodded like we did, but I’m not sure that was true. I mean, I got the concept of a compartment where you put your stuff, in this case your personalities, but that’s about it.
“For Penny to get on with life, to be fully functioning, she needed to create those compartments in her mind. It allowed her to escape those painful feelings, to hide from the trauma mentally when she couldn’t do it physically.”
“So what happened to her?” Ryan asked. You may think Ryan’s always against you, Penny, but I can attest that on that day he was scared, confused, and cared for you deeply.
Dr. Cross looked to Mom, unsure how much to share. Mom spoke up.
“It’s possible that Rachel, Penny’s birth mother, hurt her, abused her in some way. We don’t know for certain, but it would have taken place before she came to live with us.” Mom waited to let that sink in before she went on.
“We don’t know what Penny’s life with Rachel was like. So there’s reason to think it wasn’t a safe environment for a child. But the good news is that with Dr. Cross’s help, we can work on integrating the different parts of Penny’s personality into a whole again.”
That was a very informative session, to say the least. Since then, I’ve bolstered my knowledge about DID. Yes, there’s a chance you have it, but I keep coming back to the idea that you’ve been playing us, Penny. Your alters, all of it—it’s just a game to you, a built-in excuse to do exactly as you wish. It explains everything, doesn’t it?
Who invited this boy to our house? Not me.
Who hit Ryan with a rock? Not me.
Who took Dad’s car? Not me.
Who killed Rachel Boyd? Not me.
Ever heard the excuse “the devil made me do it”？ Well, what if you’re the devil?
These are hard questions, and I guess Dr. Mitch is going to try to find some answers. He’s going to play detective. If he can unearth an alter who couldn’t understand that killing Rachel was wrong, or maybe one who couldn’t conform to the law, then I guess you’ll be found not guilty by reason of mental defect. Not sure the legal ramifications of revenge—if some alter of yours felt aggrieved for abuse you may have suffered at Rachel’s hand, would that make you not guilty because you snapped? That’s a question for Navarro, I suppose. In some ways, he’s a detective on your case, same as Dr. Mitch.
I think about the best detectives from the movies. Jake Gittes from Chinatown … Hercule Poirot … Marge Gunderson from Fargo … they examined every angle, not just the obvious. They followed logical paths and illogical ones alike. So, if you have DID, and DID is thought to occur from childhood trauma, then we should be looking at your childhood to give us a motivation for your crime. That’s what I’m thinking. But we don’t know anything about your life before you came to us, so that means the next best place to check is with your birth mother, Rachel Boyd.
Of course, Rachel can no longer speak for herself. But I’ve a friend at Emerson, someone who knows her way around a computer, who might be able to speak for her.
CHAPTER 30
MARIA DESCENZA LIVED WITH her mother, Barbara, on a cul-de-sac at the end of a hilly rise. The backyard offered an unobstructed view of Swampscott’s famed Civil War monument, and beyond that loomed the ocean. The house where Maria lived was far too big for a family of two, but two were all that remained after Maria’s brothers had gone off to college. Her father, Bill, had left Barbara for a younger man, which at least was a little less of a cliché.
According to town gossip, Barbara had no intention of selling the property, as it would have meant splitting the profits—if any—with her ex. The house and landscape both appeared to be in a severe state of disrepair, with patches of bare dirt the size of a pitcher’s mound on the lawn and the remaining green consumed with clover. The front steps were in desperate need of a fresh coat of paint, and the side of the tool shed looked like the worst yard sale ever, with the only items for purchase being coils of old hose, a rusted grill, some random buckets, and a blue wheelbarrow with one wheel missing.
Over the years, Arthur and Grace had made friends with the parents of most of Ryan and Jack’s friends, but such was not the case with the Descenzas. Barbara was a bit hard to take in big doses, always complaining about some injustice she’d suffered. She played the role of the aggrieved party with Oscar-like caliber.