Jason’s eyes soften. He puts his arms around me while I sob for our son. It’s hard to stop. I just keep thinking of my little baby. The tiny, helpless bundle I brought home from the hospital sixteen years ago. In jail. He must be terrified. I’m his mother and I’m supposed to be there to look out for him, and I failed.
“It’s all my fault,” I murmur into Jason’s damp shirt.
His warm hand strokes the back of my head. “No, it’s not. Stop saying that. You’re a great mother. It’s not your fault.”
How could he say that though? Especially now that he knows about my father?
He squeezes me tighter. “Liam’s going to be fine. This is all a mistake. He’ll be home before you know it.” He kisses me on the top of my head. “Look, why don’t you take a shower so we’ll be ready for the hearing? I’ll take care of the graffiti.”
Right—Liam’s bail hearing is at eleven. I’ve got to get out of bed and shower before that happens. I don’t know if I can muster up the energy though. I just keep thinking about Liam spending the night in jail. Or worse, spending the next thirty years’ worth of nights in jail.
“Okay,” I mumble.
Jason pulls away from me. When I look up at him, his brow is furrowed. “Are you going to be okay?”
I nod wordlessly.
“You sure?”
I swallow a lump in my throat. “Go do what you need to do.”
Jason almost looks like he’s going to insist on staying, but then my phone rings on my nightstand, so he takes the opportunity to go downstairs. I look over at the screen and see my boss’s name flashing.
Oh God—I’ve got an article due today. It’s been the last thing on my mind lately, but Brian is going to go nuts that I don’t have it ready. I don’t want to lose my job on top of everything. Especially since it’s clear Liam’s legal bills will be substantial.
“Hi, Brian,” I say. I try not to sound as terrible as I feel. If Liam can be charming when he doesn’t mean it, so can I. “I’m so sorry about the article being late. If you could just give me until tomorrow…”
Brian is silent for a moment before he says anything. “That’s the thing, Erika. I need to talk to you about your article.”
“I could probably have it by tonight if you really need it… Things have just been really crazy here.”
“Yeah,” he breathes. “I heard.”
Oh no.
“Oh. I didn’t realize you knew.”
“I’m a reporter, Erika. It’s all over the news.”
“Not his name,” I squeak. As if it matters.
“I think…” Brian’s voice lowers a notch. “I think would be for the best if you took a hiatus from the paper. Until this blows over. You need to be there for your family right now.”
“It’s okay. I can still do my job.”
“This isn’t optional.”
Oh, I get it. Nobody wants to read parenting tips from the mother of a murder. I guess that makes sense. “For how long?”
“Let’s play it by ear.”
So… forever. Basically, I’m fired. There’s probably some law against this, but I don’t have the energy to fight this battle. I’m sure Brian knows it. “Fine.”
“I’ll be in touch,” he promises.
No, he won’t.
I put down the phone. I hadn’t imagined it was possible, but I feel even worse now than I did five minutes ago. On top of everything, I’ve lost my job. At least Jason can’t get fired, since he’s his own boss. It’s a small comfort.
I finally drag myself out of bed and into the shower. I let the hot water wash over me, not wanting to ever get out again. I want to live in the shower. What would Jason say if I refused to get out of the shower? But no. I have to be there for my family. It would be selfish to have a mental breakdown right now.
As I’m toweling myself dry, my cell phone starts ringing in the bedroom. I run out of the bathroom, dripping wet, and reach for my phone just before it goes to voicemail.
A voice hisses at me from the other line: “It would be a shame if somebody murdered your pretty little daughter like your son murdered that girl.”
My heart nearly stopped in my chest. I stare at the phone. “Who is this?”
Not surprisingly, they hang up.
I close my eyes, wishing I could go to sleep and this would all be a horrible dream. But no. I’ve got to get dressed and go to this hearing. I’ve got to be there for Liam, no matter what horrible thing he’s done.