He repeats the names of my features, completely unsatisfied he got no praise the first time around.
Typical man—and egomaniac.
“That’s right, baby. You’re sooo smart.”
“Whit, do it,” he instructs.
I nuzzle his neck, and he exhales his protest for me to get on with it. “Whit do it!”
“Okay, fine. So demanding.” I manage to wink out a soothing tear knowing my eye has to be as red as the little cherub’s hair. “I call this,” I press my finger to his forehead. “For-bender,” I drawl out, lowering my finger next to his eye, “eye winker,” I press my finger to his cheek, “Tom tinker, nose dropper, chin chomper, and this is your, “Ollie gollie, gollie.” He shrieks and laughs as I dig my fingers into his neck.
“Gain!”
“Kisses first.” He grips my face, his sharp little fingernails digging into my jaw just before delivering a slobbery kiss, and I soak it in as he covers me.
“Good kisses. Thank you.”
“Mep,” he says simply, wiggling to get out of my lap.
“No way, Jose,” I grip him tight to me as he makes pained grunts to show his displeasure at his capture. “Dow, dow,” he demands.
“Nope.”
“Mep,” he replies, making me laugh.
“You are soooo smart, Pey, Pey. Definitely didn’t get that from your mother.”
“I heard that,” Serena sounds up before she appears in the doorway. “You best get down there. Your glam squad is starting to irritate her grandmother.”
“She’s going to tell me she got her period. Any specifics I need to know?”
“Like what? Hey baby,” she walks over and runs her palm over Peyton’s head as he struggles to get out of my arms. “Have a good nap?”
“Mep,” he says, and we both crack up.
“When did this happen?”
“I don’t know where he got it, but I guess yes has been replaced.”
“I love it,” I say as he struggles in my arms for freedom. She rolls her eyes. “He wants down because he’s got things to do. He’s in his busy phase. Always so busy.”
“Mom-may,” Peyton grunts, “hewp.”
Shaking her head, Serena takes him and situates him on her hip.
“I’m so excited for him to open the workshop I have wrapped beneath the tree. I can’t wait to see him in nothing but a diaper and a tool belt.”
“Yeah? Cute. You didn’t have to do that.”
I grip Peyton’s flailing foot. “I’d let the kid have my car if he wanted it.”
“I know you would.”
“As much good as it will do him. It just died in the driveway.”
“Really?” A grimace. “Crap, sis, you’ve had some really horrible luck lately.”
“You think? It stopped being funny last night. The bombs seem to be appearing out of thin air before they drop. I think I’ve pissed my fairy godmother off somehow. All I can do now is wait for the next crap splatter.”
“And you broke up with, what was his name, Keith?”
“Kyle.”
“MOM-MAY!” Peyton grunts as she ignores his struggle in her arms.
“I knew you didn’t like him if I never met him.”
“Honestly, I wouldn’t even consider it a breakup, more like a one-night stand that lasted a few months because I had nothing better to do—literally and figuratively. I used him, objectified him for his huge,” I lean in so the baby doesn’t hear, “Dick.”
“Dick,” Peyton repeats, and I wince.
“No, dick, Pey Pey, penis,” Serena flashes me a death glare.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine. He’ll forget all about it in a little while.”
When her gaze lingers on me, I decipher the look. I know that look, and I despise it. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Right.” Lifting from the chair, I reclaim my nephew from her arms.
“But,” she speaks up behind me as I make my way downstairs, “if you want my opinion—”
“Nope,” I say, rounding the staircase.
“Mope,” the baby repeats, and I kiss his cheek. “The car is yours, kid.”
“It’s just that if you would get picky, you might narrow it down.”
I pause at the top of the stairs and address my nephew. “Mommy just called me a hoe.”
“Mep,” he agrees as I do my best to smooth his wayward hair down.