‘I’ve already driven myself mad,’ Izzy had said back. ‘I just need to know now.’
So, here she was, exposing her peculiarities to Kyle. A last resort.
‘Erm, so, this sounds a bit strange – but I have this reading list,’ Izzy started. The boy’s eyes were wide, a smile stuck on his face, eager to please. ‘I don’t know who wrote it, but I’m … I just need to know.’
‘All riiight,’ Kyle said, a little unsure.
‘Well, I know that whoever used the list came to this library. I sort of wondered if you’d be able to tell me who took these books out. I guess, either over several years, or all in one go.’
Kyle stood up straight – his smile vanished. ‘No, no, sorry. That’s against privacy, I can’t give you that information, even if I could find it.’
For a minute, there was silence between them.
‘Can I have a look?’ Kyle asked, holding his hand out. She popped the list gently in his palm. He held it like an historic artefact.
‘You see I collect lists,’ she said tentatively. ‘I know it’s a bit of an odd habit, but I just love it. My dad used to call me his little magpie.’
‘That’s cool,’ he said, but she knew he wasn’t sure if it was. ‘I mean, we see lists like that all the time, obviously. So it feels a bit less special to us.’
‘Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I just think a list gives you a little look into someone’s soul – like books, like art … It’s silly I know.’
‘No,’ he said, ‘I think it’s nice.’
He muttered each of the titles under his breath. Izzy looked around the room, hoping for another clue. She saw Indira; she’d met her at the book club a few times. She really liked Indira, but she loved to chat, so whenever she was around, Izzy had to make sure only to approach if she was in a really chatty mood too. The rest of the library was almost empty.
‘That’s strange, I’m sure it’s completely random, but I’ve got a friend who’s reading these books in almost the same order.’
‘Right now?’ Izzy’s eyes shot open.
‘Yeah, I think so.’
‘You reckon they wrote this list?’
‘Noooooo, she hates books,’ he said, matter-of-factly. ‘But … I’m wondering if she’s seen your list. Have you left it hanging around here at all?’
‘Never.’ Izzy shook her head.
‘Well, I’m really sorry, but I don’t know how I can help. But my friend, she’s a librarian too. She works here. Maybe come see her? She’s often in on Wednesdays.’ The man smiled, but Izzy could sense he was a little weirded out by her. She could get obsessive, she had to admit.
‘I’m sorry, is there anything else I can help you with today?’
Izzy shrugged, smiling. ‘Just this please.’ She dumped A Suitable Boy on his table with her library card balanced precariously on top.
‘And how many times have you read this?’
‘I’ve never read this copy, if that helps.’ Izzy laughed. ‘It’s a huge book – I’ve got to make sure I don’t miss anything.’
‘This list,’ Kyle said. ‘It makes sense now, why you always take out the same books again and again. We just thought you were too nervous to ask for recommendations.’ Kyle passed the book over to her, and she hugged it, comforted by its heft.
‘Thank you!’
As Izzy wandered out of the library, she looked around her, wondering – as she always did – whether the list writer was hiding in the bookshelves. Or, could they be sitting behind the library desk? What had this person wanted from the list?
Even after all her reading, all her snooping, she wasn’t sure she was any closer to the person who had written it, but she was enjoying the journey. She’d appreciated reading again – before the list, it had been so long since she’d sat down and just allowed herself to get lost in a book. Life felt too busy, it had felt like an indulgence she couldn’t afford.
But the list had given her so much – she enjoyed speaking to people here, and in this new city, where life never seemed to stand still, it had given her a place just to be.
Chapter 21
ALEISHA
‘SO, MR DARCY, HE likes Elizabeth Bennet, and she clearly likes him, but she spends most of her time being rude to him and vice versa,’ Aleisha said to the silence in her house. She’d been reading to Leilah again, doing everything she could to recreate the calm they’d found this way before.