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The Reading List(82)

Author:Sara Nisha Adams

Rohini spoke extra loudly just for him; he could see Deepali, Vritti and even the twins listening to every word.

‘Dada is going to be told off by Rohinimasi!’ Jayesh stage-whispered to his sister. ‘Mum told me she was going to call!’

Mukesh gulped again. He was being cornered.

‘Papa, have you been spending much more time with Nilakshimasi than you should have been?’

‘Hello Rohini, lovely to speak to you too,’ he said sarcastically, his eyes jumping from Vritti, looking uncomfortable, to Deepali, triumphant.

‘I bumped into Hetalmasi on the way to work, and she asked me if you two were now a couple.’

‘That is not true, and why would Hetalben know?’ Mukesh was outraged. He was being spied on – he hadn’t seen Hetal from the temple for months!

‘I want you to be careful, Papa. We all know that Nilakshimasi is lovely, and kind, but we don’t know what she wants from you. And it is important that people don’t think that you are being disrespectful to Mummy in any way!’

Vritti stood up. ‘No one would ever think Papa is being disrespectful to Mummy,’ she said forcefully.

In the earpiece of the phone, Rohini’s voice came again: ‘I’m not saying we would but some people have funny ideas. Not everything always seems so innocent.’

Everyone was quiet for a little while.

‘Papa, you love Mummy. We all know that. And you’re allowed to be happy, but I’m worried some people will talk, say shameful things. And Nilakshimasi, I don’t know if she can make you happy.’

Mukesh stood up, still holding the phone to his ear.

‘I am lonely, Rohini,’ he said, looking Vritti and Deepali in the eyes. ‘My wife died. My wife is gone. Her memory is still in here, and here,’ he touched his heart, and his head, ‘but she is gone. You all have your own lives, you are busy. You have no time for me unless I can be useful. And when you do, you just fuss and fuss and fuss. And you don’t listen to me! You don’t actually have conversations! You just leave me voicemail messages and never expect me to call you back. You used to speak to your mother, you used to care for her. If you care for me, too, and if you understood that I want a friend … well, Nilakshiben has been kind to me.’

His heart was pounding. He could feel the skin on his head prickling with sweat. His hand holding the phone was moist; he held tighter, hoping it wouldn’t slip and fall. His ears thudded with his own blood. Vritti and Deepali looked at him. Vritti seemed pleased, trying hard not to let a smile curl the corners of her mouth, but Deepali looked sad, pitying.

Mukesh shrank back into his seat. He had enjoyed feeling big, vast, powerful, for that moment. And now, with one look from his youngest daughter, and hearing a sigh through the phone from his middle daughter, he felt small again, like a child.

He passed the phone back to Vritti, who held it at arm’s length. ‘Vritti, thank you for a lovely lunch. I must go now. Goodbye. Jaya, Jayesh, bye!’

Jaya and Jayesh were watching TV now, chicken nuggets decimated in front of them; they weren’t listening.

‘Deepali, bye,’ Mukesh continued. He collected his hat, shaking. He shuffled his way out of the door and shut it behind him.

He stood in the corridor a moment, trying to get his breath back, find his bearings, hoping that one of his daughters would come after him. They didn’t. On the other side of the door, their conversation continued without him.

‘He felt ambushed. It was clearly a set-up,’ Vritti hissed. ‘He’s not an idiot. Who calls up their sister randomly to ask to speak to their father to see if he’s in a relationship? I knew it was a stupid idea, but you never listen to me! Why can’t you let him enjoy his life?’

‘Don’t go pretending we are the bad ones. It is probably you who has put these silly ideas into his head in the first place. This independent, do-what-you-want mentality you have. At least we got it out in the open rather than just talking about it in family WhatsApp!’

Mukesh didn’t want to hear any more. He made his way into the lift, and before he knew it, he was back on the street, back on the train and, eventually, back home.

Chapter 23

ALEISHA

THE CREDITS WERE ROLLING, and Leilah hadn’t fallen asleep. She hadn’t sat down to watch a film with anyone in years. It was a Disney film, so nothing that required concentration, but it was an achievement enough. Aleisha was half baffled, half waiting for the spell to break – it had been days since their failed picnic, but for Leilah, that all seemed to be forgotten.

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