I could tell by her expression that she was reliving that moment and I stayed silent. When she finally realized I hadn’t responded, she shook her head.
“Like I said, it’s not the same as losing both your parents.”
“I didn’t lose my best friend when I was young, either. I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you,” she said. Then, exhibiting a bit of false cheer, she added: “But look at us. Could our conversation get any more depressing?”
“I prefer to think of it as the two of us being honest with each other.”
“It’s still not the best dinner topic.”
“What would you like to discuss instead?”
“Anything.”
“All right,” I said. “What else can you tell me about growing up? Good things, I mean.”
“Like what?”
“Did you have any pets?” When she looked skeptical, I added, “I’m just trying to get an idea of who you were.”
“We had a dog and a cat for most of my childhood. They were named Fred and Barney.”
“From The Flintstones?”
“Exactly.”
“How about family vacations?”
“We took them all the time,” she said. “We went to Disney World every other year, we’d go skiing in West Virginia or Colorado, and we’d rent a house in the Outer Banks for two weeks every summer. One set of grandparents lived in Charlotte, and another near Boone, so we’d visit them, too. There were a lot of long car rides and I used to dread them…but now I think it helped us form closer ties as a family.”
“It sounds idyllic.”
“It was,” she said, seemingly growing more comfortable with sharing. “I have no complaints about our family life.”
“I don’t know too many people who can say that. I thought everyone had issues with their parents.”
“I’m not saying they were perfect, but it was easier for me and my siblings because they get along so well. Considering they work together all day and then go home together, you’d think they’d get tired of each other. But my dad is still crazy about my mom, and she dotes on him. There was a lot of laughter and we had dinner together every night as a family.”
I grinned, marveling at how different our childhoods had been. “What led you to choose NC State? After you finished high school?”
“It’s where my dad went to school,” she answered. “My mom went to Meredith, which is an all-girls college in Raleigh. But after Salem Academy, I wanted a big, public, coed school. I also knew it would make my dad happy. In fact, all of us—my brother and sister—went to NC State. We’re all die-hard Wolfpack fans, in case you’re wondering. Even my mom has been converted. My dad has season tickets for football and we usually have a family tailgate once or twice a year. My parents go to every home game.”
“And that’s where you met the guy you followed to New Bern, right?”
“Mark,” she said, adding nothing else.
“You loved him?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said, her gaze falling. “But he’s not someone I want to talk about.”
“Fair enough,” I said. “I think I have a pretty good idea of who you are, even without that part of your life.”
“You do, huh?”
“Well, some of it, anyway.”
“What’s confusing you?”
“I’m still not sure why you decided to become a deputy. You strike me as more like the teacher or nurse type. Or maybe an accountant.”
“Should I be offended by that?”
“I’m not saying you’re not tough enough. I guess it’s just that you strike me as intelligent, caring, and thoughtful. It’s a good thing.”
She scrutinized me for a beat. “I already told you,” she answered. “I sort of fell into it. But to your point about nursing, I get that a lot, actually, although I’m not sure why. To me, hospitals…are…” She hesitated. “They’re depressing. I hate hospitals. And besides, I get squeamish at the sight of blood.”
“Another reason not to be in your line of work.”
“I think we’ve established that I’m not engaging in shoot-outs every shift.”
“But if you were, you’d be fine. Since you’re an excellent shot.”
“My nickname is Bull’s-eye,” she said with a wink. “In my own mind, anyway.”
The waitress came by with bread and rolls, apologizing that she hadn’t brought them earlier. I took a roll and buttered it, as did Natalie.