Hunched over the black quartz countertops I helped Dad install two years ago—because why hire someone when you can do it yourself, he always says—Mom plops a raspberry in each pudding dish. “We will tell them, we will.”
“Tonight?” I ask.
She glances over her shoulder. “I don’t think tonight is the best night. You all just got here.”
“Which makes it the perfect time. Who knows when we’ll be under the same roof again? And once they see the sign outside the house, they’re going to have questions.”
Mom chops up some fresh mint and hands it to me. I gently set it in the bowls next to the raspberries, the way she likes it. Always the doting son.
“I know, but we’re having such a good time, and I’m not sure how they’ll take the news.”
I lift up the tray of desserts. “Only one way to find out.”
I walk into the family room, followed by Mom, just as Ford, Palmer, and Dad take seats on the sofas.
As I hand out the pudding cups, Palmer says, “Some fine craftsmanship on that shelf, Coop. Did you mean for it to be slanted like that?” She takes a sip from her wineglass, one I’ve seen her refill at least twice already.
I glance over at the dilapidated shelf that’s filled with a color-coordinated gaggle of books, set in rainbow order. “Dad suggested it; said he wanted to add character to his display,” I say, lying through my teeth.
“I actually told him to use a level to make sure everything was even, but he assured me the shelf was meant to lean. After some intensive searching on IKEA, I found my son was lying to my face.” Dad grips his spoon, a slight shake to his hand as he lifts a scoop of pudding to his mouth.
“The audacity,” Palmer says with a grin, the little instigator.
I take a seat next to Ford on the cream-colored love seat my parents have had for years. “Lying is the only way I can get out of this house and back to Seattle before midnight.”
“He refuses to spend the night here and commute in the morning,” Mom says. “Probably hoping for a late-night hookup on that fancy app of his.”
“Is that what you use it for? Hookups?” Palmer asks, laughter in her eyes.
“I barely even use it. Haven’t had the time with everything Mom and Dad have me doing around the house,” I say, the perfect lead-in for Mom.
But, of course, instead of taking it, she says, “Did you know Cooper went to see Nora yesterday?”
“Nora McHale?” Ford asks. “Was it a date?”
“What? No,” I say before Mom can interject with her wild fantasies about what could have possibly happened. “I didn’t go to see Nora, Mom, I went to order the cake.”
“Something he could have done over the phone.” Mom conspiratorially nudges Palmer. “But no, he went into the store. I think he’s still smitten from their one-night stand.”
“Ooooooh,” Palmer coos.
“Wait.” Ford furrows his brow. “Isn’t she friends with—？”
“Can we not?” I ask, growing frustrated. “Jesus, when did my dating life become a point of conversation in this family? To my knowledge, I’m not the only child who is single.”
“But you’re a divorcé looking for a second shot at love. It’s more interesting,” Palmer says.
“Larkin always talks about the second-chance romances she likes to read,” Ford adds, stealing the attention away from me. Thank God.
Palmer props her chin up on her fist, ignoring her pudding. “Please, tell us more about what Larkin likes.”
“Don’t even start with that,” Ford says. “She’s my assistant and that’s it.”
“Uh-huh.” Palmer blinks. “Surrrrre, Ford.”
Ford doesn’t even bother to respond but instead puts a spoonful of pudding in his mouth.
“You know, your mom was my assistant before we hooked up in the back of the store, in a canoe,” Dad says, picking up a raspberry and plopping it in his mouth.
Together, we all groan.
Yes, this is my family.
We might not see each other often, but when we’re in the same room, the oversharing and invasion of privacy is boss level.
“On that note, Mom, Dad, don’t you have something to tell Palmer and Ford?” I ask.
Mom’s eyes narrow at me, but I don’t even care. They need to get it over with.
“Are you sick, Mom?” Ford asks, his expression full of concern.
“Are you?” Palmer asks, uncrossing her legs and facing them now.