He finally looks up but makes no move to take it from me. “It’s bad luck to close a knife that someone else opened.”
Sighing, I close it and hand it out again. He takes it this time.
He finishes typing on his cell and then puts it away, sitting back in his seat, and grabs a glass of scotch that sits on the table between us. I notice there’s another one. “I made you a drink.”
I just stare at it, making him chuckle and add, “I didn’t drug it.”
“I wish. I could use a good nap right now.” Then my eyes slide over the empty plane. “Where is Matt?”
“Where he belongs—with the luggage.”
Looking back down at the drink, I almost take a sip but then remember the possibility of being pregnant. I doubt he knows that, though. I wonder if he knows I know what happened to him. Or the rumors about his chosen?
“Can I give you some advice?” he asks.
I look up at him through my lashes. “Yeah.” Honestly, I’m fucking drowning. Out in the middle of the ocean with my hands tied behind my back. My husband is passed out in a room behind me after his friend took a heated knife to his skin to stop the bleeding from a gunshot wound my ex gave him trying to kill me. Fuck, yeah. Give me all the advice you got.
“Don’t ever make him choose.”
I frown. “I don’t under …”
“Between you and the Lords.”
Why would he think I’d make Ryat choose? I understand that he took an oath for them. And if they betray that, the penalty is death. “I would never …”
“You will. You may not mean to, but you’ll fight. Every couple does.” He takes a sip of his drink. “And when you get mad, he’ll yell and say some hurtful shit and then he’ll get called away for an assignment. And when he should be working, he’ll be checking his phone to see if you ever responded to his five apology texts.” He looks over at the window, the glass of scotch resting on his knee. “I’m not saying he’ll choose the Lords over you if you put him in that position.” His eyes come back to mine. “I’m telling you that he will pick you. And that’s what will get him killed. I know it’s selfish. To tell you to forget about your feelings and always put his first.”
“Isn’t that what you do when you love someone?” I ask softly.
He lifts his drink to his lips and snorts before throwing some back. “No two people love the same way. And everyone has a different opinion on what love actually is.”
I sigh. Ryat and I do fight. A lot. Will it always be like this? Once everything is out in the open and there are no more secrets, will we still go at each other’s throats? I can’t answer those questions, but I do understand that Tyson isn’t wrong. Ryat would go crazy if he had to leave, and I was mad and ignoring his texts. “How often will they take him from me?”
“There are no set dates. But Ryat is one of the best, and the Lords know that. It could be three times in one year or it could be twenty.” He shrugs carelessly. “He could get called out after breakfast and return before dinner. Or he could miss Christmas, anniversaries, and the birth of every child you guys decide to have.” Lifting the drink, he finishes it off. Setting it down on the table, he runs a hand down over his lips and unshaven face. “A Lord serves whenever he is called. We’re machines bred for war. And someone, somewhere is always trying to wage one.”
His answer doesn’t make me feel any better. But it makes me wonder how he knows this. Is it from experience? I know something happened to his chosen, but he also doesn’t wear a wedding ring. Which makes me curious why he never moved on. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” He surprises me with no hesitation.
“You’re older.”
A sly smile spreads across his face, making his blue eyes shine brighter. “That’s not a question.”
I swallow nervously. “Three years older than Ryat. Why aren’t you married to a Lady?” He just stares at me, that smile now gone, and I feel I need to explain. Shifting in my seat, I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “I thought you know, pretty much all Lords are arranged to marry someone before they graduate from Barrington.”
He nods. “They are. The Lords feel a man is better respected with a wife. It makes them look dependable and trustworthy to the outside world.”
“So you never had an arranged marriage in place?” I’m not sure if his chosen was just for fun or if she was the one he planned on marrying, but I’m not going to ask him that.