She said, “Sorry. I reckon I been thinking on how it feels to be pregnant.”
Where that came from she had no idea, but who cared, it worked.
Cornelia gaped at her, mouth open, while Sudie May said, “Well, I can sure talk about that.”
And for the next hour she did, first how it was with Norma, next Joey, and now this one. She said it was different for each and told them how. If Rae Lynn hadn’t known better, it was like she tried to hint a time or two about Del, how she thought he was ready to settle down, how he’d been such a ladies’ man, and how he’d changed a lot since she’d last been around him. Each time she brought him up, she directed her comments to Rae Lynn, as if she’d asked about him. Rae Lynn leaned her head one way and the other, listening, but also thinking about how she was going to get out of the house in the morning without anyone knowing.
Sudie May ended with, “Do you want to have children?”
It was a question Rae Lynn didn’t expect, but she was honest in her answer.
“One day.”
After supper, she helped clean up, then excused herself. She said, “I’m a bit tired. I’m going to bed.”
Everyone said good night, and from Del, “Hope you can get some rest. You been working hard around here.”
She acknowledged his remark with a nod and went upstairs. To her mind, it got too quiet, as if they were making sure she was out of sight before they discussed her. She readied herself for bed, and once she was in it, she turned one way, then the other, unable to sleep, playing out every what-if scenario she could come up with. It was no surprise she was up before the sun rose, and dressed. She carried her boots in one hand, a piece of paper and a pencil in the other. She carefully navigated the staircase step by step. She wasn’t perfectly quiet, but she was quiet enough. In the kitchen, she scribbled a note.
Be back by noon. Rae Lynn
She propped it on the table, against the little pitcher for cream. Whoever was up first to make coffee, usually Sudie May, would see it. She eased the back door open, stepped outside, and turned the handle to shut it. It was cold enough her breath came in small clouds in front of her face while the moon, a soft golden color, hung low in the sky, like a ripened piece of fruit. She sat on the back steps and pulled on her boots, thinking she’d not dressed warm enough for an hour ride in a less-than-airtight cab. She wore one of the dresses Sudie May said was too small for her. It was long sleeved, and she had on a sweater and now her boots, but she shivered still. It would simply have to do. She moved quickly across the yard, knowing it would be hard to get the truck started without waking the entire household. Plus, they were all early risers.
The truck’s door gave an uncustomary squeal when she opened it. She got in, sat for a second gathering the steps in her head, and began adjusting the gas mixture, the throttle, and luck was with her again as the engine coughed, and caught. She let her foot off the brake enough to allow it to roll backward and clear the tree it was parked under. She gave a quick glance toward the house, checking for any sign of movement. She saw nothing. Soon she was rolling by the now-fallow cornfield, and it was then she flipped on the headlamps. They illuminated the dirt drive and the landscape. It wasn’t until this second that dread began building in her for what she might find.
Chapter 33
Del
He’d had trouble sleeping lately, which meant he was awake and heard someone up just as early as him. He got out of bed, cracked open his door in time to see Rae Lynn, boots in hand, descend the staircase, slow and easy. There was that one squeaky step, and watching her reminded him of how he used to sneak out on Saturday mornings when he was a boy so he could meet his friend, Buddy Blalock. Buddy had lived on the next farm over, and their early morning rendezvouses were usually about fishing or hunting. This could only happen when Pap didn’t need him for turpentining—which wasn’t often.
Del shut his door and hurried to get dressed. He and Rae Lynn could enjoy a cup of coffee together. He hadn’t been around the house much, too busy working to prepare the pines for the next season. It would be nice to talk, just the two of them. She’d been acting quiet the past day or so, like something was on her mind, and he couldn’t help but think of what his sister said. There was another man. He hoped not, but if there was, he needed to know so he could quit thinking like he’d been thinking. He was buttoning his shirt, when he heard a truck starting. He pulled back the curtains and saw her backing up. Grabbing his shoes, he hurried down the stairs. He was about to go out the door when Cornelia appeared in the kitchen, still in her nightgown, yawning. She shuffled over to the stove, while asking him a question.