Meryl’s mother reported her, refused to let her see Ocean when she showed up at their apartment after managing to stay away for her first two weeks of freedom. Meryl could hear Ocean crying through the door. She parked herself in the hallway and refused to leave.
The school is letting her finish her training. Linda says, “Of course they’d bend the rules for a white girl.”
Charisse says the issue isn’t rule-bending. Someone needs to make sure the school respects basic human rights.
“Lady, don’t even,” Linda says.
Meryl scowls at Linda, looking momentarily like her old self. “My mom told me I had to finish. She said she wouldn’t consider me her daughter anymore if I didn’t finish. You think I want to be back? She said she was ashamed of me for quitting. Said I was just like my loser dad.”
Ms. Gibson came to collect her. Ms. Gibson and a guard. It was fucking weird to see the school’s assistant director shake hands with her mother. Ms. Gibson was wearing normal clothes. Jeans. Sneakers. So was the guard. They looked like normal people. They thanked her mother for respecting the rules.
“All our ladies should be so lucky to come from such a supportive family,” Ms. Gibson said.
“What about the registry?” Until now, Frida has been afraid to speak, has avoided looking Meryl in the eye.
Meryl isn’t sure. She doesn’t want to think about it. They pester her for stories. Beth wants to know what’s happening in the news. If details about the school have been leaked.
Meryl has no idea. That’s not her problem. Linda asks whether she sealed the deal with Colin.
Meryl ignores Linda’s question.
“I missed you, asshole,” Beth says, trying to hug her.
Meryl pushes Beth away. “Give me a minute.”
Frida asks about Roxanne.
“We split up when we got to the highway. No one would take all three of us. The uniforms didn’t help, you know. We were going to meet in Atlantic City and hide in one of those abandoned buildings. Colin had a place picked out. But I wanted to see my kid. Stupid, stupid me.”
On the walk to class, Frida asks if Roxanne will be allowed to return too. Meryl doesn’t think so. She doesn’t know where Roxanne might have gone.
“I hope she’s with her mom,” Frida says.
“Right, because a cancer ward is exactly where you want to go after this place.”
“That’s not what I meant. Anyway, I don’t think her mom is in the hospital.” Frida asks Meryl if anything happened in the basement, if anyone did things to her.
“They don’t have to do things. They’ve already done plenty to us.”
“I’m sorry.” She tells Meryl about Charisse invoking the Holocaust. “It should have been me. Not Charisse… You know, you’re in my file. So is Roxanne. I was supposed to report you.” She puts an arm around Meryl’s shoulders. The girl is different now. Thinner, more fragile.
Ms. Khoury and Ms. Russo look disappointed to have her back. She’ll need to catch up, do extra training. Meryl’s doll has been frozen for three weeks. When she leaves the equipment room, her legs are wobbly as a foal’s.
The weather begins to cool. The mothers layer sweaters over their uniforms. They add extra blankets to their beds. In another few weeks, the trees will become splendid. Autumn, Frida recalls, is Roxanne’s favorite season.
Frida and Beth stay close to Meryl at meals, trying to protect her from Charisse, who comes over with food and compliments, telling her that she’s courageous.
A few Black mothers refer to Meryl as the girl who sank Colin. He might have gotten his kid back if not for her. Meryl has been tripped in the dining hall. She’s been elbowed in the shower line. But with each day, she grows in confidence. Stories about Colin are replaced by stories about seeing Ocean’s father, how many times she fucked him, how she ate fried chicken and pizza and doughnuts and candy, how good it felt to sleep in a real bed. To choose her own food. To smoke. “I didn’t miss my doll one bit,” she says.
* * *
Eight weeks remain. In October, the fathers return. Some say the school wants to prepare them to reenter the real world. Some say the school wants more fraternizing and expulsions so they can test out the registry. Some say the school wants to keep them distracted so more mothers will fail. Maybe someone is making money off their failures.
The parents file into the gymnasium to watch videos on stranger danger. Frida looks for Tucker. She spots him in the first row of bleachers, wishes he’d turn his head.