Though there are now only four dolls, they make as much noise as a dozen toddlers. They grab at the diapers, the blue liquid, the rash cream, the wipes, their vaginas. Each diaper change is a battle. The dolls surprise the mothers with their strength and ingenuity. That afternoon, Teen Mom’s doll picks up her jar of rash cream and hurls it at Ms. Russo while she’s walking past. The jar hits Ms. Russo solidly in the chest. The doll laughs. Teen Mom laughs.
Linda’s doll mimics her and strikes Ms. Russo in the back.
Frida covers her mouth. Her eyes are watering, she’s laughing so hard. She looks up and sees Beth stifling giggles. Ms. Khoury is watching them. Ms. Russo tells Teen Mom and Linda to make their dolls apologize.
The dolls aren’t sorry. They giggle and clap, their laughter coming from the back of their throats or somewhere deep inside their circuitry, as if they’re being tickled.
Frida takes the jar out of Emmanuelle’s hands. “We do not throw things.”
The instructors could be stoned to death with jars of rash cream. If it were the mothers throwing, such force might be possible. They ought to do it for Lucretia.
Diapers are changed every half hour. After each change, the instructors freeze the dolls and carry them back to the equipment room to be refilled, carrying them two at a time horizontally, like they’re lawn ornaments or loaves of bread. The imposition on the dolls is tremendous. Their bottoms turn pebbly and red. They wince as they walk. Motherese can barely be heard above the weeping.
Other classes are practicing potty training and bathroom hygiene and curing bedwetting. The mothers working on potty training sob during meals. Mothers with infant and toddler boy dolls have to wear face shields. Spraying is not just annoying but dangerous. One mother got blue liquid in her mouth and had to be taken to the infirmary.
* * *
The holiday is not without beauty. The next night, after an austere Christmas dinner, the mothers gather in the main stairwell of Kemp and listen to the trio of middle-aged white women sing carols. The trio’s harmonizing suggests prior a cappella experience. “Silent Night” and “Little Drummer Boy” and “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” Their rendition of “Edelweiss” is especially poignant.
Frida sits between Roxanne and Teen Mom. They hum and sway. Together, they sing the refrain, “Bless my homeland forever.” That’s the only line Frida knows. A music therapist played this song at Ahma’s bedside when she was dying.
Frida looks down at the many faces, imagining them all as girls, shy and sad, wearing clothes they didn’t choose, their hair braided, pin-curled, tied in kerchiefs. They are waiting, brimming, thinking themselves to freedom. Frida misses her mother’s laugh, her father’s cooking. Harriet. Gust had Harriet last Christmas too.
* * *
To give the dolls’ bottoms time to heal, naptime practice begins early. Cribs and rocking chairs are moved into the classroom. The dolls need naps every hour. In beginning naptime, prep will be completed in ten minutes. By intermediate, the mothers should get their dolls down in five. By advanced, they should go down in two minutes or less.
“Out like a light,” Ms. Russo says, snapping her fingers.
Naptime practice reminds Frida of a game of Whac-A-Mole. She asks Emmanuelle to notice what time it is. “It’s naptime. What happens during naptime? Rest. You’re so sleepy.”
Emmanuelle begs to differ.
Frida is forgetting what Harriet’s skin feels like. Her gurgling, wet laugh. The perfect curve of her forehead. The pattern of her curls.
It’s New Year’s Eve. Last year, Gust and Susanna dropped by unannounced on the way to a dinner party. Gust wanted to do bedtime.
Frida never denied these requests, which often came without warning. She remembers Susanna bending down to hug her while Gust was upstairs with Harriet, Susanna studying her bookshelves. Susanna wore a low-cut green satin dress that night, had a black velvet ribbon tied around her neck.
She suggested they get coffee sometime, just the two of them. “I’d like us to be friends. Gust speaks so highly of you. I just want you to know, Frida, I think you’re very brave. We’ve talked about it. I admire your strength.”
Frida remembers staring at the ribbon, at Susanna’s fine, pale throat. How she wanted that sinister story to be true. To pull on the ribbon and make Susanna lose her head.
* * *
The following week, Frida learns that Harriet has lost weight. Her cheeks have shrunk. Susanna has been reducing their carb intake, replacing carbs with vegetables and lean proteins and fats. They’ve gone gluten-free. The first thing Susanna does with all her clients is eliminate wheat. Everyone is a little intolerant of wheat. Wheat causes bloating. They were all so bloated after the holidays.