* * *
The rules have changed again. Frida’s phone privileges remain suspended. Before she can contact Harriet, she must finish in the top two for Unit 5. The school needs to see another set of results to make sure her performance was due to skill, not luck.
The night before evaluation day, the school has its first jumper. The mothers don’t find out until the morning. The jumper was Margaret, one of the mothers caught kissing behind the tennis courts. Some say she tried to get back together with Alicia, that Alicia rejected her. Some say she was in trouble because her four-year-old doll hadn’t learned to read yet. Some say her son’s foster parents returned him because he stood on their biological baby, and the school wouldn’t tell Margaret where he was moved.
Alicia and several of Margaret’s classmates get in trouble for weeping at breakfast. Beth says she feels triggered. Linda says this is a bad omen. She asks them to hold hands. Together they pray. For Margaret and her soul, rest in peace. For Margaret’s son, Robbie. For Margaret’s parents, especially her mother. For her grandparents. For her siblings.
“For Alicia,” Meryl says.
“For Margaret’s doll,” Beth adds. “That boy is going to be so confused.”
Meryl says the doll will be erased.
“But she was his first mom,” Frida says. “He’s not going to forget her.”
“Sure, tell yourself that.”
Frida watches Alicia cry. Margaret was only twenty-five. Both she and Alicia were placed on the watch list weeks ago. Will Ms. Gibson be the one calling Margaret’s family, or will it be the executive director, Ms. Knight? The thought of either of them delivering condolences makes Frida feel helpless and irate. She’s imagined her parents getting that call, has wondered whether such a call would send them to the hospital. She’s imagined them telling Gust, Gust telling Harriet. The danger has never felt so real. The boy who killed himself during freshman year was a stranger. The girl who hanged herself during grad school was someone she’d known only by name. She didn’t realize that she and Margaret had anything in common besides their missing children.
* * *
Evaluations must be completed in pairs. There are three stations, one toy per rug. Station one has a frog puppet. Station two has a bag of DUPLO blocks. Station three has a toy laptop. The two dolls must complete ten consecutive minutes of peaceful play at each station. Their mothers must manage emotional upset, break up fights, set appropriate limits, impart wisdom about sharing, turn-taking, patience, generosity, and community values.
Beth is paired with Meryl, Frida with Linda. Frida can’t let Linda win. Empathy will doom her chances. Gabriel was found a few days ago. He got himself arrested while shoplifting from a gas station. Linda is worried that he’ll be tried as an adult, that he’ll get into a fight in juvie and land in solitary, that he’ll get moved to adult prison. That he’ll keep fucking up and stay in the system forever.
Emmanuelle clings to Frida’s leg. She’s sensitive. A weather vane. A mood ring. She can sense Frida’s nervousness.
Frida and Linda and their respective dolls move to the center. Ms. Khoury holds the frog puppet high so neither doll can reach it.
Frida tells Emmanuelle not to be afraid. She says, “Mommy believes in you. Mommy loves you.”
She whispers, “I love you galaxies.”
She looks away, horrified. She was supposed to guard this part of their life. How hard would it have been to honor their secret, their magic word? Even Gust and Susanna don’t say it. If she could trade places with Margaret, she would. It should be her body hitting the pavement, her body being carted away from this place.
“Gala-seas?” Emmanuelle tries out the new word.
Ms. Russo asks if Frida is ready. Linda strokes her doll’s head like she’s preparing to unleash a pit bull. Meryl and Beth mouth words of encouragement.
Frida bows her head and holds Emmanuelle close. “I am a bad mother,” she says. “But I am learning to be good.”
14.
BENEATH WHITE TENTS ON THE lawn outside Pierce, there are long tables with red-and-white-checked tablecloths and folding chairs. One tent for doll food. One for human food. The school has set up activity stations: horseshoes, beanbags, Frisbees, Hula-Hoops.
They’ve been calling it the bad parents’ picnic. Officially it’s a Fourth of July barbecue. They’ll finally meet the fathers, their comrades. Though the school couldn’t have anticipated this sequence of events, the picnic is a well-timed morale boost after Margaret’s suicide.