Coach O’Shea, who’s been shockingly pleasant lately, signs off on an hour of extra ice time for us on Sunday night, which Hunter and I make good use of. The solo session goes well, and I drive home from the arena in a good mood. Since I don’t have an early practice tomorrow, Allie’s spending the night and I can’t wait to fuck my girlfriend. Really fuck her. I’m talking three straight hours of balls deep heaven, instead of the hurried trips to the bone zone we’ve been taking all week.
My head is down as I wander into the kitchen. I’m so focused on the task of checking if Allie texted that it takes a second to register that my roommates are sitting around the table. Even Tucker, who’s been AWOL since the new semester started. I don’t even bother teasing him about it anymore. It’s obvious he has a girlfriend. Or maybe a boyfriend? Fuck, he’s so secretive these days that nothing would surprise me.
“What’s up?” I ask absently.
Nobody says a word.
I tuck my phone in my pocket and glance around the table. Their stricken expressions make my heart beat faster.
The moisture I glimpse in Logan’s eyes makes it stop beating altogether.
“What’s going on?” I demand.
The eerie silence drags on. Logan scrubs his fist over his eyes.
Fucking hell. Now I’m worried. No, now I’m scared.
“Seriously, if someone doesn’t tell me what’s going on right this fucking second—”
“Coach called,” Garrett interrupts. His voice is low. Somber.
I wait for him to continue. My hands feel like two blocks of ice. And now they’re starting to shake.
“He just got off the phone with Patrick Deluca, and, uh…”
Okay, this is moving in a direction I didn’t expect. Pat Deluca is the coach of the football team. What the hell would he have to say to Coach Jensen?
Garrett sees my confusion and keeps talking. “I guess Deluca called him because he knows we’re friends with Beau—”
Beau? “This is about Maxwell?” I cut in. “What about him?”
Logan averts his gaze.
So does Tucker.
The only one with the balls to meet my eyes is Garrett, who exhales in a slow, unsteady rush before speaking.
“He…ah…died.”
30
Dean
My brother and I traveled around Europe the summer after I graduated high school. France, Italy, Spain, and we finished the trip in Germany and Austria. The latter is home to a massive ice cave that Nick insisted on seeing. I’ll admit, it was pretty fucking cool. The tour only lets you walk the first mile or so, which is covered in ice. Beyond that, the interlocking chambers and endless passageways were formed of limestone. Nick and I weren’t interested in one measly mile, so badasses that we are, we broke the rules and snuck away from the tour group.
We got lost. Hopelessly fucking lost, and to this day I still remember the suffocating feeling that came over me. The echo of our voices bouncing off the impossibly high walls. The cold breeze blowing through the cave. The footsteps of the tour guide who came to our rescue—we could hear those footsteps, clear as day, but it was impossible to figure out which direction they were coming from. The echoes fucked with our ears.
That’s how I feel now. I hear Garrett talking, but I can’t see him and I can’t be sure of what he’s saying. His voice is an echo. Bouncing off the walls and off my ears and just kinda…swirling around aimlessly.
My brain still can’t comprehend the first thing he said.
Beau died.
As in, he’s dead?
Beau is dead?
Beau Maxwell?
My friend Beau Maxwell?
“…on impact.”
My head snaps up. It’s like Garrett’s words are spitballs that he’s firing at the wall, and the last two finally stick.
“What?” I ask stupidly.
His gray eyes are lined with sadness. “I said he died on impact. He didn’t suffer.”
I blink. Repeatedly. “Can you tell it to me again? What happened, I mean.”
He curses. “Goddamn it, why?”
Because I didn’t hear a word you said! I almost roar. I take a breath and say, “Because I need to hear it again.”
Garrett nods, albeit reluctantly. “Okay.”
I stagger to the counter and open the top cupboard. Good. There’s a bottle of Jack in it. I twist off the cap and take a deep swig, then join my roommates at the table. I sit next to Tuck, and the Jack Daniel’s gets passed around as Garrett starts talking again.
It’s not a very long story.