‘Why did she say they were dead?’ he was asking, his head in his hands.
Joy reached out and held her younger son’s hand. ‘Perhaps they’d all fallen out?’ she offered weakly.
Jamie had eventually managed to speak with her parents on the phone, and they confirmed that Ella suffered from fragile mental health. Which made me feel so terribly guilty. I should have known, but I had no idea. If I had, I would have behaved quite differently towards her. But I’m aware that’s no excuse and I couldn’t forgive myself for the way our relationship had been.
‘She seemed to be so strong, so confident,’ Jamie said. ‘But when you got to know her, she wasn’t at all,’ he added. ‘Her parents said she never got over her sister, she lived with the grief, and they’re convinced that’s why she killed herself.’
‘It makes sense,’ Joy sighed. ‘I can’t imagine how her parents are coping…’
‘I wonder if that’s why she told us they were both dead,’ he said, lifting his head from his hands, ‘because seeing them reminded her of her sister and what happened? I just wish she hadn’t lied, that she’d told me the truth.’
‘Who knows?’ I said. ‘Sometimes it isn’t about telling a lie – it’s simply about not telling the truth to protect others.’ I knew how that felt and sadly realised a connection with Ella then that I’d never felt during her life.
‘She must have had her reasons,’ Joy said. ‘It seems like her whole life was a mystery really.’
‘Yeah – even to me. That’s what I found so intriguing about Ella – you couldn’t really pin her down.’ Jamie smiled to himself at some half-remembered moment.
‘I still wonder how she made a living just from posting pictures. Did her parents shed any light on that?’ Dan asked, as he arrived back at the table.
For a moment, Jamie hesitated, then said, ‘Apparently, Ella lived from one man to the next. They paid for everything and she didn’t need a job; she just lived her life… guess I was just another one of those men.’ I guess the sadness for Jamie was perhaps that Ella hadn’t been so open with him as he had with her.
‘Oh my God!’ Joy clutched her chest and gasped in horror at this. I’d told her it was what I’d suspected, but still, I don’t think she could quite get her head around it.
‘I wonder if she ever had any feelings for me,’ he sighed.
Joy offered a half-hearted, ‘Of course she did.’ But I couldn’t give him any comfort. I had no proof that she’d loved him, and as much as I wanted to ease his suffering, I couldn’t lie to him. The fact Ella was prepared to walk out on Jamie so easily once she got my message suggested she hadn’t loved him. I wondered if, after her sister’s death, she’d even been capable of loving again?
‘Mate, she was definitely on the make.’ Dan was saying what no one else could. ‘I know now isn’t the time to be telling you this – but she tried to blackmail me.’
‘What?’ Jamie paled. ‘I can’t believe that,’ he said, clearly shocked. He really had no idea who his new wife had been, but then who did know Ella? She probably hadn’t even known herself.
‘Yeah, she tried to say I’d propositioned her, touched her.’
Jamie shook his head in disbelief, and Bob grunted in agreement as he returned from washing up.
‘That’s enough of that now,’ Joy said; it was all becoming a bit unsavoury for Joy. ‘Bob’s going to pour us all a nice G and T with ice and lemon now, aren’t you Bob, and we’re going to have an early night before the flight in the morning.’
That was how it was with the Taylors, Joy always taking charge, sweeping any problems under the carpet, but it had worked until now – but perhaps Joy had realised that Ella wouldn’t be so easily cajoled?
* * *
On the flight back the next day, we must have seemed like any other family returning from holiday, waiting in departures. The kids were tearing around, Joy was sitting in her eye mask （the stress of the last few days had apparently played havoc with her skin）， Bob was doing a crossword and Dan and I were bickering about when was best to feed the kids. Meanwhile, poor Jamie just sat quietly, presumably trying to work out what the hell had happened. He’d arrived only days before as a newlywed, and now he was leaving a widower.
Suddenly Violet was pulling at my arm. ‘Mum, Mum, we have an emergency!’ she said, and I instinctively looked at the double doors that led from Passport Control – I’d had this feeling that Detective Bianchi hadn’t quite finished with us all yet.