‘Bob, call an ambulance,’ Joy said without even turning to look at him.
‘It’s too late for an ambulance. I think we should call the police,’ I said, and Bob did as he was told and headed into the house.
Joy, Dan and I stood in a circle around her body, just looking down at her. ‘Mate’ was all Dan said to Jamie, his hand on his younger brother’s back as Jamie sat on the wet tiles, Ella’s head still in his arms. Her eyes were wide open, seeing nothing, and yet I felt uncomfortable, like she was looking straight at me. I leaned over her and, with my fingers, gently closed her eyes.
Bob had called the police, then on Joy’s instructions had gone to get the kids up and had taken them into the garden to play. We didn’t want them to see or know anything at this stage, and as the garden was framed by trees they were unaware of the horror on the other side. Meanwhile, we waited with Ella by the pool, numb, only saying the odd word, trying to string sentences together to try to make sense of what had happened.
‘What was she even doing in the water? She can’t swim,’ Joy said, shaking her head, fear etched on her face. ‘It’s 7 a.m. in the morning, and she’s in the pool – but she can’t swim,’ Joy repeated.
‘Yoga,’ I said, and they turned to look at me. ‘She always did her yoga out here – every morning about six.’ Much later when I scrolled through her Instagram I saw her – as always she hadn’t missed an opportunity for a selfie. She was smiling into the camera, wearing the same matching scarlet vest and yoga pants she now lay in, her sunlit hair gathered up in a golden topknot.
‘Did you watch her doing yoga?’ Dan asked in front of everyone, like I was some kind of bloody stalker.
‘Not this morning, and I never watched her,’ I said defensively, ‘but I’ve seen her other mornings. Sometimes, if I woke early, I’d take my book… and just sit out there, on the terrace. I didn’t want to disturb the children. And she was out there.’
‘Yeah… she did do yoga in the morning.’ Jamie nodded. ‘She wouldn’t do it by the pool though, she’d be too… scared in case she fell in…’ he said, and at this his face crumpled.
‘She was in the garden,’ I said gently. ‘She always did yoga in the garden.’
‘So how the hell did she end up in the pool? She wouldn’t have gone near the water on her own,’ he added through tears.
‘Perhaps someone else was there?’ Dan said, looking at me. I felt a little uncomfortable.
‘Perhaps she just decided to try out a new move by the pool?’ I suggested. ‘It would look good to have the pool in a photo – on her Instagram?’
‘Or perhaps,’ said Joy, ‘and I hate to say this… But she was upset about something, and…？’
‘She wouldn’t.’ Jamie shook his head. ‘She’d never do anything stupid.’
I found it hard to imagine too. Ella was angry with me, and disappointed about the TV offer that didn’t exist, but she wasn’t suicidal.
‘She was upset about leaving me, but we’d talked. I said I’d go and see her wherever they ended up filming. I was upset, I said some things I regret, but I didn’t cause this!’ He let go of her head and sat back, his arms outstretched.
‘No one’s saying you did, my darling.’ Joy went to hug him, but he pulled away.
Joy touched her chest, no doubt hurting for her son and hurting because she couldn’t console him. ‘This is all too much, I need to lie down,’ she said, slipping a gold lipstick from the pocket of her kimono and giving her lips a slick of hot pink for the arrival of the carabinieri.
While Jamie and Dan argued about whether they should leave Ella’s body for the police or move her out of the sun, I walked over to the garden to see Bob and the children. I felt it would be good to explain to Violet and at least offer some explanation to Alfie as to why uniformed men would be arriving soon. I told them something very sad had happened and Ella had fallen in the water and gone to heaven.
‘Was she running, Mummy?’ Alfie asked. He’d been warned every day not to run by the pool, and saw this as the cardinal sin.
‘We don’t know, darling, but this is why you must always be sensible around water and not run or be silly.’
‘Was Ella being silly by the pool, Mummy?’ he asked.
‘In a way,’ I said, shaken by what had happened and finding comfort in the simplistic way my kids viewed life and death.