“We’ll let you know when you can return home. Your husband’s been on the phone with us, demanding you return to America,” he said dryly.
“James was worried even before I travelled to the UK. He’s probably getting a bit frantic now.” James never actually got frantic. He had two modes: either calm or demanding. Mostly, he was calm. You knew things had gone haywire when James got rattled.
I left the police station, suitcase in hand. I’d been all ready to head off with Rosemary. Now, I didn’t know where to go. I could ignore the detective and head off to Greece on my own. But I didn’t have the barest clue where to go or what to do when I got there.
When I reached a park, I sat myself down. A series of shivers passed along my body in spite of the warm day. The police had suggested I see their recommended counsellor. Seeing someone with their throat slashed was bound to be traumatising, they’d told me. And it was, more than I could articulate. I kept seeing that image of Rosemary over and over. But I couldn’t return home to James’s arms. Not yet.
Rosemary Oort was not going to die in vain. She’d spoken about many things to do with the people that Kara might be involved with. And the strange historical group. I just needed to pick up the threads.
The old self-doubts came galloping in. I couldn’t do this by myself. My whole life, I’d never really given myself permission to trust myself. I’d always let someone else take the reins.
Had it really taken me getting to the age of thirty-eight to realise that the people who took the reins were just more confident than I was? Yes, it had taken me that long. Other people weren’t really any wiser than me. They just jumped on the horse and took the reins.
Kara was completely different to me. She made her own decisions, and she followed them through. She didn’t second-guess herself. So like her father. That was why she’d been so bull-headed about coming out to study in Australia. Once she’d made her decision, I knew there was no turning her away from that path.
I wondered what Kara thought of me? Weak? Could she and I ever meet in the middle? Or would our relationship continue to wear thin? I knew parents who never saw their offspring once they’d grown. The thought of that was almost too much to bear.
Black and white ducks waddled across the grass to a murky pond, the first of them jubilantly flicking water about once they’d plunged into the pond. A group of backpackers cycled past, narrowly missing the ducks.
In that moment, I recalled my conversation with Rosemary in the café next to the bicycles. She’d been in contact with a couple who lived in Athens. A husband and wife who were both history professors. That couple should be my next port of call. Rosemary had been very interested in what they had to say—and I should be too, because if Rosemary had found something compelling about it, then it was worth investigating further. Even though I’d found talk of the ancient society all so strange.
There was nothing I could do for Rosemary now.
I had to steal away from London and fly to Athens.
40. Evie
THE MENTORS GAVE THE CHALLENGE PARTICIPANTS a briefing session in the garden. They informed us that Saul’s body was being taken home to his family. The police had found out that Saul’s murderer had come here on his own, arriving in a small boat—possibly before any of us had even arrived—and concealing himself. He was Italian, a man who’d belonged to one of the monastery-invading groups that Brother Sage had described, but they’d recently thrown him out due to odd behaviour.
The mentors told us that challenge four would be going ahead as planned tonight. At the end of the talk, any of us who felt they needed a counselling session were invited to attend the scriptorium and have a private chat with Brother Vito. Poppy, puffy eyed from both her nap and crying, was among the group that wanted a counselling session.
I chose to find a quiet place in the garden where I still had glimpses of the sky. I needed to keep hold of the world outside the monastery, even though that desire seemed irrational when I’d only been here for five days. The only view of the outside was the sky and distant hills. There was no view to the ocean from the monastery grounds—the walls were too high for that.
I realised my mistake in thinking I’d found a private spot when I overheard Cormack talking in a lowered voice to Kara. It was the voice of a guy who obviously liked a girl a lot and was trying to impress her. He asked if they could meet up sometime, after all this was over. Kara’s reply was clear: Sorry, I just can’t. I’m not like other girls.