“Your advisor.”
“She wasn’t our advisor then. It was her first year teaching on her own. She was friends with Kim and a bunch of other girls. She liked to hang out with us.”
“Who was there?”
“Me, Kim, Candace, Taylor, and Adele. And, of course, Rachel.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Were you there or weren’t you?”
“Hey,” Mateo interrupted. “Don’t badger her. This is hard enough.”
She hadn’t thought she was badgering, but Alexa contradicted herself and Regan needed clarity.
“I don’t remember much of anything about that night,” Alexa said. “I’m telling you the truth. We had homemade wine coolers and drank a lot. Then Taylor brought out joints. I remember that much, I wasn’t so drunk I was passing out, but I was definitely intoxicated. Rachel didn’t want anyone smoking in her apartment, so the six of us walked to the preserve next to the country club. It wasn’t far—just on the other side of her complex. It was dark, and there was a steep hill to get up there. We sat down and smoked, and then…I remember absolutely nothing after that. I don’t even remember smoking. I don’t remember how I got back to Rachel’s. I don’t know how long we were out there. I don’t remember anything until I woke up the next morning with the worst hangover in the world. I was so sick. I don’t drink a lot, and so I thought this was normal. I still can’t drink alcohol after that night, I don’t even like the smell.
“When I woke up in Rachel’s apartment, Candace was the only one there. She was on the phone with someone, yelling at them, which is what woke me up. She hung up and threw her phone across the room. She looked angry, and she’d been crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she wouldn’t talk to me. Then I asked where everyone was, and Candace said she didn’t know. Later—I don’t know how long because I fell asleep again—Kim, Rachel, and Taylor came in. I still felt awful, and Candace was making me drink a lot of water and eat crackers. I asked where Adele was—or Candace did, I don’t remember. Rachel said she hadn’t come to the party last night. She turned to me, said didn’t I remember that Adele had decided to go home? I remembered precisely nothing. I thought Adele had been at the apartment, but everything was a jumble, and when Rachel said she wasn’t there, it was like I erased any memories of her. I looked at Candace, and she didn’t say anything. Then I just assumed I remembered wrong. I was really sick and out of it.”
They had basically gaslighted Alexa. Candace knew the truth, but she remained silent.
Until her conscience couldn’t take it anymore.
“What happened to Adele?” Regan asked.
“I didn’t know until Candace came to me after the Spring Fling. I didn’t even make the connection, even though I knew that Adele had gone missing after winter break.”
Alexa drank her water; her hand was shaking.
“I was living with my parents in Kingman, single and six months pregnant. I was a student teacher and trying to figure out what I was going to do about my life as a single mom. That’s when she told me the truth.”
“The truth about Adele,” Regan prompted.
“The pot was laced. Taylor brought it, swore that she hadn’t known, but it was either LSD or PCP or something really bad. Adele freaked out the worst and ran into the woods. Candace was the only one who wasn’t impaired, and she tried to catch up to her, but Adele turned, knocked her down. Then Adele jumped up, took off, and ran into a tree. She stumbled and fell down a short cliff. Her head split open on a rock. It was an accident, but Candace said everyone panicked. Even her—and Candace is pretty unflappable. But Rachel convinced us—I guess me, too, though I don’t remember—that we couldn’t say anything because our lives would be ruined. Rachel was hysterical. Said she would go to jail and lose everything—her job, her life—because she had given us the alcohol and let us get stoned. This was before pot was legal and we were all under twenty-one. She was an associate professor, so she’d be doubly punished, and we’d all be expelled. Rachel said it was an accident, and our lives shouldn’t be ruined because of an accident.
“That night Candace stayed at my side because I guess I was really out of it, and she thought I might need to go to the hospital. Rachel, Kim, and Taylor went to move Adele’s body. Candace said that she had always felt guilty, but that she’d met someone who knew Adele and now she had to tell the truth. She told me about the argument at the Spring Fling.