She models it for me, and I squeeze her hand and try to inhale. I close my eyes and then open them again. I look over at Julian, who’s sitting in a chair across from me.
I may as well start at the beginning. “What’s my name?”
“Cassandra. Cassandra Hunter. You were Cassandra Dryer when we first met. We’ve been married for ten years.”
Ten years? That seems impossible. “How old am I?”
“Thirty-seven.”
Blythe gasps, and the others turn to look at me in shock. Gabriel is only thirty, and I’d assumed that I was in my late twenties.
“But . . .”
Julian looks at his hands. “You’ve had some plastic surgery. That’s why you look younger.”
Hot shame goes through me. Why would I have gotten cosmetic surgery so young? What kind of a person am I? There are a million questions I want to ask, not the least of which is how I got the scars on my wrists. But not here, in front of everyone. I feel naked, embarrassed. All I want to do is go to my room, crawl under the covers, and close my eyes.
The door opens, and Gigi and Ed come in. I stand up shakily and run into Gigi’s arms.
Ed’s voice booms across the room. “What’s going on? We turned around, and all of you were gone.”
I hear Ted talking fast, explaining. I can’t seem to let go of Gigi, and she doesn’t pull away. After a few minutes I do let go, and Ed comes over to put an arm around me.
“Are you all right, honey? This must be quite a shock.”
I shake my head, not able to find my voice. He looks at Hailey. “Why don’t you sit with Addison? I’d like to talk to this gentleman.” Gabriel stands up and comes toward me, but Blythe puts a hand on his arm, and he sits back down next to her.
Hailey squeezes my hand. “Are you okay?” she whispers.
I squeeze back and say nothing.
Julian extends a hand to Ed. “I’m Julian Hunter. And you are?”
“Ed Gordon. Addison’s been living with my wife and me for the past two years. So you claim to be her husband. Do you have any proof of that?”
Julian nods. “Of course. Not with me, though. I had no idea I’d find Cassandra here. But I have pictures.” He hands the phone to Ed, who looks through them, frowning, then hands the phone back. “I suppose that’s a start. Where do you live?”
“Boston,” Julian answers, his tone even.
“How did you find her?” Ed asks.
Now they’re talking about me like I’m not even here. “Please, please. Everyone. I can’t do this right now. I need some time.” I rise and look at Gigi. “Please take me home.”
“Cassandra—，” Julian says, coming nearer.
“Stop calling me that! I don’t know you. I can’t . . . just give me a minute.”
Ed steps between the two of us, blocking Julian. “I suggest you go back and get some paperwork to prove what you say. Come back in a day or two, and we can talk about everything. This is too much for her to process all at once.”
Julian gives him a penetrating look, then sighs. “I understand. But you have to understand how difficult it is for me to walk away after I’ve been searching all this time. We have a child together. A life.”
Ed puts a hand up. “I know, I know. Just a couple of days.” He takes out a card and scribbles on it. “Here’s our address.”
Julian looks at Gabriel then. “Exactly who are you to my wife?”
Gabriel’s chin juts out, and his eyes narrow. “Her fiancé.”
The two men appraise each other, and I feel like my heart is breaking into a thousand pieces. I want to reach out and tell Gabriel that it will be okay. That I love him and need him. But I think of the little girl in the picture, and my mouth goes dry.
“Julian,” I say, his name feeling strange in my mouth. “Is Valentina okay?”
He gives me a sad look. “She misses you terribly. But she’s okay. I’ve done my best. She’s going to be so happy to have her mommy home.”
My hand goes to my stomach reflexively, and then I remember what he said about a surrogate. Even so, how could I forget that I have a child? It seems so impossible, but yet it must be true. Again, I wonder about the person I am. What kind of mother leaves her child? “We’ll talk again soon,” I say to Julian. Then I take Gigi’s hand, and we leave the room and the gallery. As I walk out, I keep my eyes fixed in front of me, unable to look at Gabriel or his family. No matter what kind of pain I’ve caused them, I can’t concentrate on them right now. I have to find my way back to my old life and finally discover what I was running from.