“Yes, I’m just going to grab a shower and change. I’ll be downstairs in a few.”
“Perfect. I’ll get the apps ready.”
Once in the kitchen, I open the refrigerator and transfer the food I picked up earlier to our china platters. The shrimp are plump and pink, the filet cooked to a perfect medium, and the fresh asparagus seasoned with oil and herbs. I pop the mac-and-cheese bites that Valentina loves into the microwave, humming as I go. I’ve already opened a bottle of wine, and I pour myself a generous glass and take a sip. I hear the sound of little footsteps and look up to see Valentina come in, precious in a dark-green velvet dress with a pretty red sash. Cassandra has fixed her hair into a French braid.
“Princess! You look beautiful.”
“Thank you, Daddy. Is it almost next year?”
I pick her up and spin her around, then kiss her cheek loudly. “Not yet, my love. It’s only six o’clock. Can you figure out how many more hours until midnight?”
She looks up at the ceiling, ticking off the numbers on her hands as she counts. “Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.” She looks at me and shouts, “Six!”
“That’s right, my smart girl. Do you want to help Daddy put these trays on the table in the living room? We’re going to have some appetizers before dinner.”
She nods. “What’s a patizer?”
“Appetizer. Something to satisfy your appetite.”
After we set everything down, she runs toward the stairs. “I’m going to go get Mommy. It’s time for the party to start.”
I find a jazz playlist on my phone and stream it to the speakers in the bookcase, then light the candles I’ve placed around the room. Just because we’re spending the evening at home doesn’t mean we can’t have some atmosphere. Cassandra will see how much better it is to be safe and sound with the ones who love her.
Once everything is set, I bring the wine out and pour a small glass for her.
“Well, you’ve created quite a setting,” she says as she comes into the room, holding Valentina’s hand. She looks beautiful in a dress of her own, this one a deep-cranberry knit that hugs her body, and I feel a stirring of desire. When I came up with the plan to replace Valentina’s mother, my only thought was for my child, and a part of me feels guilty that I’m enjoying the new Cassandra so much. Then again, if she and I are happy together, it is better for Valentina.
“Thank you. I wanted to make tonight special for my two special ladies.”
Valentina giggles. “Look Mommy, appetite tizers.” She points to the trays.
Cassandra laughs and takes a shrimp and pops it in her mouth. “Delicious!”
We chat and drink, and the evening goes as planned. We have our dinner around eight thirty, and I notice Valentina’s eyes beginning to droop. After we settle her on the sofa under a soft blanket, she’s asleep within minutes. Despite my warnings, Cassandra drinks two more glasses of wine, and then she’s fast asleep on the couch too. I tuck her in and glance at my watch. Eleven thirty. Do I dare risk it? Deciding that they’re both out cold, I grab two glasses, tiptoe from the room and open the door to the basement, then use my phone flashlight to descend the staircase to the wine cellar. I open its door and lock myself inside, then pull out the bottle of Opus One that I’ve placed dead center on the far wall. I push the button, and there is a whirring noise. Within seconds, the wall opens into my secret room.
I had this room created right after Cassandra died. I take a seat on the maroon velvet couch, the high-end Victorian look she loves, and set down the wine and the glasses on the marble-top table. The wall is filled with pictures of Cassandra and me from our life together. The real Cassandra. In the center of the room is a custom-made easel on which sits a life-size portrait of her from our wedding day. She looks magnificent, and I can almost believe it’s really her, here and looking at me. Sighing, I turn around and pour two glasses of wine. Holding one in each hand, I lift mine in tribute.
A thrill of desire like molten lava courses through my veins. I haven’t entered this room in months, not since I brought the new Cassandra home. “My precious. How I’ve missed you. You must forgive me for staying away so long. It wasn’t safe to visit. But I’m here, darling, and I promise, I will come and see you every week.” Now that I’ve experimented with the dosages, I can just give new Cassandra a little extra any night when I want to come and visit.
I pour myself a fresh glass of wine and add to hers, setting it on the table in front of me. “Cheers, darling. To a new year.” Taking a long sip, I lean back and sigh. I hate that things turned out the way they did, and that instead of her being the one upstairs, alive and well, I have only her image to keep me company.