“Come on,” said Gabe. “We can look for Ruby on the beach while we talk.” He led her along a narrow path that twisted through the knee-high grass to the sand.
“How’d you know about this?” she asked.
Gabe bent his head, turning so she couldn’t see his face. “Uh, I did a little exploring last night.”
“You went out?”
“Ruby left me a note,” Gabe said. “And, after I got it, I didn’t want to just sit around waiting for her.”
Rosa looked at her son carefully, searching his face for an indication of how he was handling things. “Are you okay?”
He sighed, then nodded. “Yeah. Weirdly okay. Relieved, actually. I think both of us were rushing. And then neither of us was brave enough to say so. At least, I wasn’t. I’m glad that she was.”
“If it’s not what you wanted…” Rosa said hesitantly. She didn’t want to admit it, but she, too, was relieved. A daughter’s a daughter all her life, but a son’s a son ’til he takes a wife, was what her own mother had told her. She’d already lost Gabriel to the East Coast, to New York City, and part of her was glad that at least she wouldn’t be losing him to another woman quite yet.
“I’m fine,” Gabe said. “At least, I will be.” He had the strangest expression on his face, something that looked like sorrow mixed with what seemed to be hope. “And maybe I won’t be single for too long.”
Rosa wanted to ask about that, but she couldn’t let herself be distracted.
“So what do you want to tell me?” he asked.
Rosa had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry. At her son’s teasing tone, she bit her lower lip, hard, letting the pain distract her, so she’d be able to get through what she needed to say without tears.
“I always told you that I never knew who your father was, right?” When Gabe nodded, Rosa said, “That wasn’t true. I know who it was. But I never told him I was pregnant. I never gave him a chance to be a father.”
Gabe looked at her for a moment without speaking. “Who was he?” he finally asked.
“His name was—is, I guess—Benji. He was a musician. Someone I knew in New York City. I wanted to tell you that, and also…” Just say it, Rosa told herself. “I hadn’t planned on having a baby. I wanted to have an abortion, but I didn’t have the money, and Benji didn’t, either, and so I decided that I’d find a guy…”
Gabe put his hand on her arm. “Mami,” he said gently. “You don’t need to tell me this.”
“I do, though.” The sea air felt like it was stinging her lungs. She could smell coffee, suntan lotion, sweet pastries. She could feel the grit of the sand beneath her feet and hear a snatch of music as a car drove past with its windows down. It seemed impossible that the world was moving on all around them, people going about their normal days, leading normal lives, while she had to deliver this kind of news. “The man I found to give me money—the man who thought he’d gotten me pregnant—he was Ruby’s father.”
For a moment, Gabe just stared. “What?” he finally squawked. “You slept with Ruby’s dad?”
“But he isn’t your father,” Rosa hastened to add.
“That’s—well.” Gabe opened his mouth, then closed it, then shook his head and settled for “Holy shit.” He looked at his mother. “So, wait. When Ruby’s dad saw you, on that FaceTime, did he think…” Gabe stopped talking and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders were shaking, and, for a terrible moment, Rosa thought he was crying. Then, when he raised his head, she saw that he was laughing, so hard that there were tears on his cheeks. “Ruby’s dad thought he was my father, too,” he snorted, shaking his head. “Mami. Escándalo!”
“I know.”
“It’s crazy!”
“Crazy,” Rosa confirmed. “And I’m sorry. Ruby’s father is a good man, and I took advantage of him. And…” She swallowed hard. “It wasn’t right.”
“Oh, Mami.” Gabe took her hands, and smiled at her—his old smile, full of that surpassing sweetness. It took her breath away. “It’s not that bad.”
“Yes! Yes, it is!”
“People make mistakes.”
“People, sure. Not mothers!”
“Aren’t mothers people?”
Without thinking, Rosa shook her head in negation. “Do you forgive me?” she whispered.