Sarah didn’t speak. Eli looked right into her eyes.
“I can’t ask you to forgive me, or to trust me. I’ll have to earn your forgiveness and your trust. But I’m going to do everything I can, now and for the rest of my life, to show that I deserve to be your husband.”
Sarah closed her eyes, not trusting her voice. Not knowing if she’d ever tell Eli what she’d done, if she’d ever ask him to forgive her, or if what had happened with Owen would be her secret to keep, her burden to bear, alone. Someday, maybe, she’d be the one making a confession; the one in need of forgiveness, and grace.
My mother is dying, Sarah thought. She was going to be an orphan soon, a woman without parents in the world. Which meant that she was the parent now; the one who had to set the example and do the right thing, even when it was the hard thing, and bear some of her burdens and hurts alone.
When Eli stood up, Sarah stood with him. She leaned against him, pressing her cheek to his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, as if he’d never let go.
* * *
“I wish she’d told us.” At one in the morning, with everyone else in the house asleep, Sam and his sister sat together on the pool deck, side by side with their feet in the water.
“She was going to,” Sarah said glumly. “Remember? She said she had something to tell us, but she wanted to wait until after the wedding.” Sarah shook her head. “Maybe that’s why she was in such a rush to put the house on the market. Maybe she wanted to sell it before she…” Sarah swallowed hard, unable to go further.
Sam sipped the coffee he’d poured into one of their father’s mugs. “Poor Mom.” He circled his feet in the water. “Did you and Eli get a chance to talk?”
“We did,” said Sarah.
“And are things okay?” Sam asked, after it was clear she didn’t intend to say more. “Are you okay?”
“I am,” Sarah said. She was smiling a little, a crooked, rueful smile. “It’s a crazy story. But yes, I think that we will be. Eventually.”
Surprisingly, Sam didn’t press her for details. “I’m glad,” he said. “Eli’s a good guy. And I think you’ll need him now, with Mom…”
“With Mom dying,” said Sarah, who, of the two of them, had always been braver, the one to say the hard things out loud. Her voice softened as she looked at her twin. “I just wish you had someone, too.”
Sam shrugged… but Sarah knew her brother’s face almost as well as she knew her own. She narrowed her eyes, peering out at him in the dim light from the house.
“Wait a minute. Did you go out last night?”
Sam nodded, his lips curling upward.
“Did you meet someone?”
Sam shrugged.
“Yes or no!”
Sam mumbled something that sounded like I don’t want to talk about it. Sarah leaned over and grabbed her brother by the shoulders.
“You met someone, didn’t you? Oh my God! Sam!”
He shook his head and waved his hand. “It’s complicated,” he said. “Like, extremely complicated.” His voice was grave, but his face was flushed, his eyes were bright, and he looked young, and vital, and handsome. Even in her sorrow, Sarah felt happy for him.
“Tell me!” Sarah gave him a little shake. “Tell me everything!”
“I can’t. Not yet.”
“But you’re happy?” Sarah asked.
Sam smiled even more widely. “You know how you once told me that it felt like I had something missing? That there was some part of myself that I hadn’t figured out?”
Sarah’s eyes widened. “Did you figure it out? Did you find your missing piece?”
Sam nodded, beaming. “I think that I did.”
Ruby
You did what?” Ruby asked, and glared at Gabe on the morning of what was to have been their wedding day. They were out on the deck where the caterers were playing ABBA’s greatest hits and setting the table for the non-wedding feast that night.
Gabe held his hands, palms out, in front of him, like a boxer preparing to deflect a blow. “Look, just remember that, technically, you had broken up with me.”
“Technically!” Ruby repeated. She shook her head. “Couldn’t you have waited a little while before you hooked up with someone else? Like a week? Or a day? Or a few hours?”
“I’m sorry!” said Gabe, who was apologizing and laughing all at once. “Believe me, I wasn’t planning on meeting anyone.”