* * *
*
The next morning, when Dara and Charlie arrived at the studio at seven thirty, Derek the contractor was already there, standing in the middle of Studio B, legs astride like the figure on the cover of their mother’s copy of The Fountainhead.
In the corner, Marie stood, watching. Watching as Derek gave instructions to his crew: two young men with heavy tool belts and tape measures, one with drop cloths looped around his arm, his arm braided with muscles.
Dara squinted. Something was different about Marie.
And then Marie turned and she saw it. Marie’s forever-pale mouth was painted fire engine red. Like a warning, a five-alarm.
Dara pictured Marie strolling to the drugstore late the night before, or early that morning, trying on lipsticks under the fluorescent, fly-specked lights.
“Good morning,” Charlie said, nudging Dara forward, moving to shake hands with Derek. “Looks like things have already started.”
A HAMMER OVER MY HEART
It was fast, so fast. Faster than the fire even.
They were watching the walls come down.
Dara and Marie wore the safety goggles and dust masks he handed them, though Derek himself went barefaced. They stood at the spot on the floor he dictated, a safe distance.
The two workers, Benny and Gaspar, watched too. Stood back and observed. Benny, lithe and goateed, and Gaspar, thick and sinewy, saying things to each other in Portuguese under their breath.
Derek lifted a long-frame hammer from the floor.
“It only hurts the first time,” he said, winking at Dara and Marie.
Like a caveman and his club, he began swinging the hammer, punching starter holes into the wall.
Punching again, nearly bursting through his shirt, wiggling the drywall back and forth.
The holes looked like dark pinwheels. Looked like bruises.
Marie covered her ears with the heels of her hands.
Next came the saw. The one with the long blade—how he hoisted it up high, making a long vertical cut from the ceiling down, down, down, splitting the wall. Tearing the bisected panel with his big catcher’s mitt hands.
It was as if, somehow, the saw were sinking down her own spine, Dara thought. That was how it felt.
Beside her, Marie was breathing so hard, her dust mask puffing up, then disappearing into her mouth.
* * *
*
Next came the crowbar, prying the baseboards and trim free, great splintering sounds that made you want to scream. Made Dara want to scream.
Knocking the studs free, the veins in his arms straining.
The long hammer back, its claw tearing a monstrous hole, his hands plunging inside, ripping, rending. Tearing again, tearing everything. Everything. Until there was nothing left.
Until Derek set down the hammer to answer his phone—one of his phones—disappearing into the stairwell, shaking the dust from his hair.
Dara looked where the wall had been moments before, now only an ugly seam on the ground, the subfloor thick with sawdust sneaking through.
Her safety goggles fogging, Dara thought for a second she might cry. What is wrong with me? she thought. What is wrong?
“Is it over?” Dara asked, clawing the goggles from her face.
But Marie wasn’t listening, tearing off her dust mask as if suffocating. She was looking at the hammer, leaning against the wall now. “It’s still hot,” she said, her fingers on its rubber handle. “It’s still hot.”
* * *
*
That afternoon, as the students began to arrive, Dara distracted herself from everything going on in Studio B, the huffs of debris, the makeshift tarp path taped to the molding floors so one could pass through.
She tried not to think about the wall, the wreckage. The dust on her eyelashes, the smell of rot at the center of their beloved space. Second to their home, the most beloved space.
“It’s the right thing,” Charlie assured her. He’d spent the morning filling out insurance paperwork. There was a lot of paperwork and Derek seemed to keep giving them more.
“I know,” Dara said. Besides, there was no time for sentiment. Her three o’clock students were arriving, Level III boys, the soft slap of their canvas shoes against the floor in the dressing room, faces blazing from the cold, earnest and anxious footsteps pad-padding to the barre, side glances at Dara, enthralled by Dara.
* * *
*
It wasn’t long before she lost herself in the churn of the day. In her first class, the boys in their black tights and white tees, straining. She devoted so much more of herself to the boys. After Charlie couldn’t teach anymore, she’d taken over them and found she liked it. They were always so intently focused—they had to be—the boys. They faced so much social dismissal. It gave them a special intensity, especially Malik, Tony, and, of course, her Nutcracker Prince Corbin, thoughtful and quiet, their voices softly breaking, their faces faintly dotted with acne, their chests like ship prows yet waists so dainty, like prim bows.