Yes.
That’s the best idea.
We need space. So I can put things in order, and we can touch all over, and we can—get this out of our systems.
My brain crashes headfirst into the words. There’s almost an audible tire screech.
Hold up.
Wait a minute.
I’m the only one swept away here.
He’s in full control.
He’s smirking, self-satisfied, tugging the shawl where it’s bunched under my thigh.
Oh, hell. I’m making a fool of myself.
I’ve never stood so quickly. I hop down into the phlox, landing with my weight on my bad leg, and thank goodness, it holds me. My wolf is snarling, raging, utterly pissed on my behalf. I’m gonna barf.
I stumble through the flower garden toward the stairs.
My hands are shaking. I wipe my mouth. I want to spit him out. I want to suck on a bar of soap.
What’s wrong with me?
I trip. He reaches to steady me—he’s right behind me—but I stagger forward, putting as much distance between us as I can.
He keeps following, but a few more steps behind. When I get to the steps, he lifts me up then backs off again.
“What’s going on?” He’s genuinely confused.
I don’t know. The mate bond is gone. I’m not in heat. My body’s gone bonkers—and my feelings are all over the place—but this isn’t like back in the briar patch. I never want to feel that way again. And yet, here I am, thirsting after this asshole like a teenage fangirl, gobbling up any crumb he throws my way.
I tell the roomies all the time—just because this pack treats us as less than doesn’t make it true. But no matter how much I tell myself that, no matter how far I’ve gotten from the “poor lone female” mentality, here I am, my lonely orphaned self, clinging to the alpha, desperate to feel less abandoned.
This is more humiliating than the briar patch.
“Nothing. I want you to leave. Just go.”
His brow furrows.
“My wolf does, too,” I add like that’ll help.
I stare at his feet and the rough wood planks beneath them.
“Una. Look at me.”
My name on his lips stokes the strange excitement in my chest, and it doesn’t make sense. I’m hurt. Bristling. And awake and aware in a way I’ve never been before, not even on a full moon.
I jerk my head no.
He sighs in exasperation and paces a few feet away. “You gotta tell me what’s going on in your head. I’m not a mind reader.”
It comes out so easily. He’s definitely said this to a female before. My wolf growls and tosses her head. I’m with her.
“No, I don’t,” I say to the weathered porch boards. “I didn’t come to your house. I didn’t howl outside your window. I didn’t start any of this, and I—” My voice breaks just a little. “I don’t have any problem leaving.”
I turn toward the door so quickly that I catch Mari’s wide eyes as the curtain falls back into place.
I stop mid-stride and take a deep breath. I’m not going to run away like I’m scared. I force myself to look him in the eye. “I’m not your mate. You said so yourself, and you’re the alpha. And I don’t want a ‘with benefits’ kind of thing. Or any kind of thing with you.”
“What’s ‘with benefits?’” he asks.
“And you’re not in my system.”
“Hold up. Go back. What benefits?”
“There aren’t any. That’s what I’m saying. You do your thing, and I’ll do mine, and just, just—get off my damn porch.”
I fumble with the door knob, and when I get it open, it slams into the wall. My insides are sparking. I carefully shut the door so it doesn’t seem like I’m upset, and I drive the deadbolt home.
Mari, Annie, and Kennedy huddle in the hall, gawking.
“H-He can break down that door,” Annie says.
“We should put the couch in front of it.” Kennedy’s already pushing up the sleeves of her sweatshirt.
“We can’t take him just the three of us,” Mari says, her sweet voice quavering. “I’m gonna call Abertha.”
And whoosh, the temper drops out of me like a row in Tetris. I’m not accustomed to anger. Big feelings aren’t my register. I’m calm, cool, and collected.
And my roomies are the best. I’ve done okay with them, I think. We’re taught every day to bend and show our necks, but all three are making to move the couch. They’ve got my back.
“You don’t have to. The kitchen door’s right there.” I hike a thumb over my shoulder. “And I don’t think he’s going to bust in.”