I set my utensils down. I’m full anyway.
He glowers. “You’re not done.”
“I’m full.” After a second, I tack on, “Thank you.”
“You didn’t have dinner yesterday.”
I lift a shoulder. My nerves are too jumpy to get any more down, but I say, “You don’t double up when you miss a meal.”
“I do.” He grins, pops a bite of steak in his mouth, and chews. I can’t stop watching his jawbone work. It’s cut so sharp, it’s like watching a machine.
My stuffed belly clenches. Not with hunger.
Oh, crap. It’s not heat again? So soon?
I flutter the collar of the T-shirt. I’m not particularly hot, but it can’t hurt to get some air moving.
Killian’s eyes track my movement. “You in need again?”
I gulp and choke on nothing. “No.”
I push the plate away and cross my arms tight to my chest. And I stop looking at his jaw. And his throat bobbing as he swallows.
I should get up and start the dishes. That would give my hands something to do.
But my body is heavy. I don’t want to move further away. I can’t.
What’s going on with me?
Panic flares, skittering inside me, and then there’s a pulse through the bond, cool and calm.
My gaze flies to Killian’s. He’s watching me. And he seems confused, too. Perturbed.
He narrows his focus, and the pulse between us becomes a flow from him to me. The cool and the calm develops dimension, a smoothness, almost a scent. Toffee.
I press my palm to my chest. The sensation runs over the back of my hand, like a shaded stream in summer, a lazy current that soothes feverish skin.
I can’t suppress a small smile. This is magic.
Killian feels it, too. I know he does. He’s blown away, too, he’s just playing it cool by focusing on his food.
Killian’s lips curve the slightest bit, and he scoops up his last forkful of eggs. “After this, we’ll shower and head to the gym.”
We will? I thought I’d go home. Shower. Process.
“Can’t leave ‘em unsupervised for too long. They start brawling.”
“Don’t they go to the gym to train to fight?”
“Yeah, but if you don’t watch them, they break shit.”
“I can go back to my cabin.”
He shakes his head before I finish the offer. “You know you can’t, Una.”
“Why not?”
“Heat,” he says as if it’s obvious.
Which it is.
I’m not even sure why I’m arguing. Yeah, I want to hide in my room, and tell Kennedy everything, and brush my teeth, and think. But the reality is that I can’t even bring myself to walk across the room to the sink. I can’t fathom being so far from him that I can’t hear him breathe.
My wolf is pretty much rolling her eyes at me, but some weird biological event doesn’t magically change everything. Yesterday, I had my own business. My own place. My own life.
So now, just like that, I’m tethered to Killian? Like the dog Eamon Byrne’s mate keeps in their backyard so that when he sneaks out at night, she knows? I don’t want to be Max.
If I’m going to try and figure this thing out with Killian, I want to decide—not my primal instinct.
Eventually, after the silence has stretched well past awkward, Killian sighs and lets his fork clatter to his plate. “We should get going.” He reaches for my dishes and stacks them. Finally, I can stand, too. He clears the table, and I wander to the doorway.
The way out is right there. Less than fifteen feet away. Nothing but open space between me and the front door. I step toward it. The bond stretches. I take another. The bond is taut now, but it doesn’t hurt.
“Una?”
I don’t turn around. I don’t choose this. Killian rejected me. I can’t just say, “Oh, well. Everyone makes mistakes. Now we’re a couple.” He controls everything in this pack, but not me.
I stagger forward on my good leg, dragging the bad. There’s a sharp, shooting pain. I can bear it. As I cross the living room, it eases. See? I’m stronger than whatever this is between us.
I go on, and with every step, it gets better. I reach for the knob and throw the door open. It’s past noon, and it’s a glorious day. The sky is robin’s egg blue, not a cloud in sight. The green leaves at the very tops of the tallest trees flutter in the breeze, but otherwise, it’s perfectly quiet, fresh, and still.
I step out onto the porch.
Killian steps beside me.