“I would rather she left me, decided I was silly and that she didn’t want to be bothered with me anymore,” Aliez said hoarsely. “Even that would be better.”
“I’m sorry, Aliez.” Luca’s voice cracked, too, though she tried to hide it. “I don’t have any ties to the Qazāli side of the city right now. We’re all—” Floundering, she almost said. She couldn’t admit that aloud. “Doing what we can to get the city back upright. It’s a difficult time.”
She hated how false her words sounded. She hated that this child had ridiculed Luca and now had the audacity to ask her for help. She hated that this girl also loved a Qazāli as openly as she dared and now faced the consequences for it. There were always consequences. Threats, broadsides, political losses. If Cheminade had been here, maybe she would have advised Aliez and Luca both.
There was more to this, though, than Luca’s own grief. The girl sat there, blue eyes just like her father’s, pleading, clinging hopefully to Luca’s break in composure.
“Why do you think your father had anything to do with it?” Luca asked.
“Well, that’s how we get to the other part. I was—it was before I was kidnapped, before any of that bazaar nonsense took place. He heard me talking to Bastien about her. I could tell he wanted to beat me right then, but I kept my distance. The things he shouted at me, though.” Aliez shuddered and looked around the room to make sure they were alone.
Luca clutched her coffee cup, waiting for the girl to arrive at the point and dreading it at the same time. Beau-Sang wasn’t beyond reproach. No noble was. Even Luca had done things she wasn’t proud of by now.
“He said some things about the old governor-general,” Aliez said. “The one who died? And I wondered if… Well, he made it sound as if…” She waited for Luca to complete the thought, but Luca’s teeth were clenched tight. Aliez finished in a voice so low that Luca had to lean closer to hear it. “As if he had something to do with it.”
“That’s quite an accusation,” Luca said when she could finally speak.
“It’s not an accusation.” Aliez looked down again, this time as if she were disappointed with herself. “I don’t have any evidence. It just feels like it. Call it intuition. I do know my father,” she said darkly. “You can look into it if you want to.”
Luca took a shuddering breath. Cantic, who hated Beau-Sang and had practically frothed when Luca installed him outside of the military’s control, would have to hunt down that evidence. The governor-general that Luca herself had chosen, against Gil’s warning. Killing Lord Governor Cheminade would have opened the way to his placement. She didn’t want to believe she’d fallen into someone else’s elaborate plan, but what if she had?
She certainly felt trapped. With the public announcements and the eyes of the Balladairans, especially the nobles, on her, she felt like she didn’t have a choice but to see this through. She couldn’t afford to be mistrusted and disregarded right now, not with Qazāl in such a fragile state. Not when she was this close to losing the city already.
“Your Highness?” Aliez twisted her empty cup while she searched Luca’s face. It was as if she’d finally remembered whom she was talking to.
“Mademoiselle. Thank you for bringing me your concerns.” Luca set her cup on the table with finality and stood, signifying the end of their chat. “I have a lot to consider, you understand.” By which Luca meant she was going to swing that damned rapier back and forth until she collapsed and couldn’t think about everything crumbling to shit around her.
Aliez followed suit and curtsied prettily, but her face echoed the pain and frustration in Luca’s heart. “Thank you for your time, Your Highness.”
Adile made to show the young woman out, back into the waiting sunlight, under which all their troubles were bared. Luca looked back at her fencing sword and glove. She could be finished practicing for the day.
“Mademoiselle. Aliez. I find that a walk often cleanses the mind.” Luca followed her outside, squinting at the bright sky.
Aliez smothered a giggle with a pale hand. “You’ve been spending time with Son?oise de l’Ouest, haven’t you?” She smiled ruefully. “I would enjoy the company.”
“So would I.”
After taking a turn around the Quartier with Aliez, Luca’s mind was “cleansed” enough to come to at least one decision. She spent the evening asking herself, Who is closest to the conflict? Who walks with it through the streets?