‘Ben?’ she called, walking down to the kitchen, almost tripping over a trail of laundry that Ty had helpfully flung in approximately the direction of the dirty washing basket. She bent and picked up the errant clothes on autopilot, grimacing as she felt something sticky on her hand. Moments later, she almost tripped over her son’s discarded backpack at the top of the stairs and tumbled to an untimely death.
By the time she got to the kitchen, she felt less as if she needed an adventure and more as if she needed a full hose down and a Valium. ‘Ben?’ she called again, with slightly more edge to her voice.
But a coffee cup next to the kettle was the only sign of life.
She pulled her phone out of her pocket and quickly scrolled to his number in her contacts. It rang several times before he picked up. ‘Hello, love!’ Ben said, cheerfully. ‘You on your way home?’
‘I’m already here, where are you?’
‘Oh. Well, I got most of my stuff done then Baz asked me for a pub lunch.’
‘It’s five o’clock.’
‘Bloody hell, is it?’ He was slurring his words slightly. ‘Well, we’re in the middle of some pool. You can pop down and join us if you want?’
It wasn’t a real offer.
‘No, it’s OK. I just hoped… I suppose I hoped you’d be here so… well, I’ve got something to tell you.’
‘I can come home… if you want?’ he said, then, ‘Just a minute! Sorry, that was Baz. It’s my turn. Do you want me to…?’
‘Yes!’ she wanted to say. ‘Come home immediately!’ But instead: ‘No, I’ll see you later,’ she replied.
She tried to settle down with a coffee, but found it hard to concentrate. She could hardly wait for the moment when Ben would step through the door and she could surprise him with her news. That they no longer had to live out their days as a middle-aged cliché. Her redundancy money would replace any savings they’d hoped to accrue. Ty was a confident boy; plus he’d seemed so much more grown-up recently that she doubted he’d need them at all once he moved into halls. The stars had finally aligned.
She closed her eyes. In her mind, Ben would be overjoyed – released from his own stressful work and able to embrace something brand new. He’d pick her up in his arms and swing her around as he had before and they’d get the house on the market as soon as possible.
‘Everything is about to change,’ she said to herself.
Later, she’d look back on those words and wonder: If she’d been able to see the future in all its brilliant, frightening, chaotic and unexpected glory, would she have been excited? Or completely and utterly terrified?
It was hard to know what to do with herself while waiting, so in the end she did what she always did in a crisis – picked up the phone and dialled Emily.
2
Lily lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, phone clamped to her ear. She noticed a hairline crack in the plaster, dust on the lampshade. ‘So, what do you think?’ she asked.
‘I think,’ said Emily, ‘it sounds amazing… And you reckon Ben will be up for it?’
‘You think he might not be, because of Ty?’
‘Well, yeah. I mean, that was his reason for the delay before, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes,’ Lily said, rolling onto her front. ‘But you know what? I think Ty’s grown up so much in the last six months. He seems so different – I’m sure Ben’s noticed it too. I really don’t think he’s going to need his parents hanging about.’
‘Good point.’ Emily was silent for a moment. Then: ‘Wow, so you’re actually going to be doing it,’ she said, her voice quieter than usual.
‘Well, yes…’ said Lily, ‘it looks like I am.’
‘I’m going to miss you, you know,’ Emily said, wistfully. ‘Miss spending so much time with you.’
‘Even the times when I make you pluck that wayward grey hair from the back of my head?’
‘Even those.’
‘Even the times I drag you to aerobics on Thursdays, despite your protestations?’ Lily joked.
‘Well, I won’t miss the aerobics, I’ll admit,’ said Emily. ‘Although if I end up eating myself into a state and having to be winched out of my house by a crane, it’ll be one hundred per cent your fault for leaving and taking my motivation with you.’
‘‘Ha! As if that would ever happen. You’ve got the dogs to drag you around, remember.’