“You’re going to travel to Carsodonia and free him,” she interrupted, and I blinked. “I know. Vikter said you would.”
“Okay.” I took a deep, shuddering breath. There was no way Tawny could’ve known all of that. “Was Vikter a spirit?”
“No.” Tawny shook her head. “He’s a viktor.”
I jolted. Something about the way she said that tugged at a memory that lingered just out of my reach. “What do you mean?”
“I hope I can explain this well enough to be understood.” Tawny blew out a breath. “A viktor is born with a goal—to guard someone the Fates believe is destined to bring about some great change or purpose. I got the impression that not all are aware of their duty, and they end up being there for that person anyway—like the Fates bring them together. I think other viktors are aware and are involved in the lives of the ones they’re protecting. Once they die, either while carrying out their purpose or from any other cause, their souls return to Mount Lotho.”
“Where?” My brows lifted.
“It’s where the Arae reside,” she explained. “Their souls return to Mount Lotho, where they wait to be reborn.”
“It’s a place written to be in Iliseeum,” Kieran told me, but all I could do was stare at Tawny.
“And you said Vikter was one of these?” When Tawny nodded, my thoughts began to race. “Does that mean he knew I was a god the whole time? What happened to him?”
Tawny tipped forward, placing her glass on the small table. “How Vikter explained it to me was that when viktors are reborn, they have no memories of their previous lives like they do when their souls return to Mount Lotho where they are once more given mortal form. But some viktors are basically, um, predestined to figure out what they are, and who they are sent to either protect or lead. Like Leopold. Viktor said that he figured it out, and that was why he sought out Coralena before you were even born.”
Another shock rippled through me, once more tugging at a strange feeling in the back of my mind. The sensation that I somehow knew this already. But I didn’t. “So, they weren’t together because they loved one another?” I asked.
“I don’t know, but they had Ian together. Ian told me they were his parents,” she said. “That doesn’t mean they were in love, obviously, but there was definitely something there, and I don’t think that being a viktor means you can’t love.”
I nodded slowly. I knew that Vikter had been in love with his wife. The grief he’d felt whenever he spoke of her was far too real to have not been birthed from love. And in that moment, I chose to believe that Coralena and Leopold—my parents—did love one another.
“Vikter had to know, though.” Kieran’s eyes met mine. “He became a Royal Guard—became your personal guard, and he made sure you could protect yourself. That you could fight better than most Rise Guards. Besides all of that, his name couldn’t be a coincidence.”
I’d always believed that Vikter had trained me because he knew I never wanted to be as helpless as I had been the night in Lockswood, but he could’ve been ensuring that I knew how to keep myself alive until I Ascended and completed the Culling.
“If he did know what his purpose was, why didn’t he tell her?” Kieran turned back to Tawny. “Could’ve made things a lot easier.”
“If he knew, he couldn’t because even though viktors are there to protect their charges, they cannot reveal their reasons. There was a lot of things he couldn’t tell me, saying it had to do with the Fates and balance, so he was very careful and deliberate with what he said,” Tawny said with a shrug. “It’s the same reason they’re born without memories and from what I gathered, even mortals who are bound to do some terrible stuff may also have viktors. He would’ve been unable to speak the truth.”
I didn’t know how to feel about the fact that Vikter could’ve known who I truly was or knew that Hawke was really Casteel. Or that he came into my life with one purpose: to protect me. Some of his last words came back to me then, squeezing my heart into pieces. I’m sorry for not protecting you. His belief that he’d failed me took on a whole new meaning now. I reached out, running my fingers between Delano’s ears when he rested his head on my knee. “Did he look well? Like, did he look the same?”
“He looked…” Tawny dragged her gaze from Delano. “He looked like I remember. Not the last time we saw him, but before that.” Tawny smiled, and it was only a little sad. “He looked good, Poppy, and he wanted me to tell you that, yes, he was proud of you.”