She’ll die in your arms.
Chapter 33
I couldn’t sleep.
Not when Millicent’s warning preyed on my mind. But I stayed with Poppy, running my fingers through her hair. Soaking in her warmth. Counting the steady, strong beats of her heart. Listening to each breath she took until footsteps neared the door and then stopped.
Only then did I lift her from me, carefully easing her onto her side. She didn’t wake. Didn’t make a sound as I drew the thin blanket over her body. That was how exhausted she was.
I rose, stopping to brush the strands of hair back from her face and kiss her cheek. As close as I was, I saw the faint gray shadows under her eyes. It took nearly every ounce of control I had to leave that bed, but I did. I deserved a fucking medal for it.
Stopping where a neat pile of clothing had been left on a small armchair, I pulled on a pair of black pants. Buttoning the flap, I looked over my shoulder at Poppy. She slept on her side, just as I’d left her, one shoulder bared above the blanket, and her hair a stream of flames spread across the bed behind her. A knot lodged in my chest, a bundle of memories. Of the first time I’d held her while she slept on the cold, hard ground of the Blood Forest. The last time before I was taken, in the ship on that gently rocking bed. She always looked so damn peaceful. Beautiful. Strong. Brave, even in rest.
And I was hers.
I turned away before climbing right back into the bed. My flesh already missed the feel of hers as I went to the door, opening it.
Kieran was leaning against the wall, his head tipped back. His eyes opened, locking on mine. He went completely still as I closed the door. His mouth moved, but I heard no words as he lurched forward. I met him halfway. One or both of us staggered a little as we collided. His hand trembled as he clasped the back of my neck. The knot of emotion in my chest grew as I held him as close as I had Poppy, and in that silence, I thanked the gods—sleeping, dead, or whatever as I dropped my forehead to his shoulder. For him being there for Poppy. For him just being here. For a bond thicker than blood or tradition.
“You whole?” Kieran asked in a voice that felt as rough as my throat.
I closed my eyes. “Going to be.”
“Good.” The hand at the nape of my neck firmed. “Missed you, man. Something fierce.”
“Same.”
“Also wanted to punch you in the dick for doing what you did,” he said, and a thin laugh left me. “Still want to, to be honest.”
“You know why I did it.”
“I know.” Kieran squeezed the back of my neck. “That’s the only reason why I’m not punching you right now.”
I laughed again, lifting my head. “That and the fact you’re afraid Poppy would kick your ass for it.”
He chuckled roughly. “True story.”
Gripping his shoulder, I met his stare. “You do know why I gave myself up, right? I had to stop Isbeth. She was hurting Poppy.”
“I know. I do. I wouldn’t have expected anything less from you,” he said. “Doesn’t mean I had to like it. Doesn’t mean Poppy had to either.”
Nodding, I felt that tremor in his hand again. And knowing him for my whole life, I saw the shadows of dread in his eyes. The unasked questions. The evil he feared had preyed upon me, and the nightmares he worried would see a resurrection.
I clasped his cheek with my left hand and leaned my head into his. “It wasn’t like last time. The only thing taken from me was my blood.”
Some of the shadows cleared but not all of them. “Was that all, though? Truly?”
A muscle ticked in my jaw. The quiet of that cell. The coldness. The hours and days and weeks of that—the desperation and everything else. No, that wasn’t all.
Kieran palmed my cheek. “You got me. You got Poppy. You aren’t alone. We’re both here. Always and forever.”
Fuck.
The knot hit my throat and dampened my eyes. “Yeah,” I said in a voice full of gravel. “I know.”
His chest rose in a deep inhale, and then his gaze flicked to the closed door. He didn’t ask. Didn’t need to.
“She’s asleep.”
Visible relief hit him. His eyes closed briefly and then reopened, the irises glimmering. “She’ll need to feed. It can’t be you. I’ll do it as soon as she wakes.”
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me for that.”
“But I do.”
He shrugged. “Not like I minded feeding her.”
“I’m sure you didn’t,” I replied dryly.