Thoughts of my teeth occupied my mind for the remainder of the journey, and there was a good chance those thoughts would also haunt my dreams. It wasn’t that I was disturbed by the idea of having fangs. They would actually make feeding easier, but it would be different.
Further proof of how much I’d changed.
And was still changing.
Chapter 43
Upon returning to Padonia, Malec was placed in the stables, which was, well, it seemed wrong somehow, but where else would we be able to place him? No one would want a casket containing a god in the Great Hall.
I’d placed Isbeth’s ring back in the pouch, along with the wooden horse. I really needed to give that back to Casteel, but as I sat on the edge of the bed after bathing, wearing nothing more than a gauzy, knee-length chemise I’d found in the wardrobe, I wasn’t thinking about Malec, the ring or the horse. I’d decided there was no point in dressing any further since… Well, since I would only have to undress.
My stomach tumbled a bit. The faint ache had returned to my jaw and temple while I spent time with Tawny, but it had mostly disappeared while bathing. I didn’t know if the headache had to do with the Culling and me getting fangs as Reaver had said or what was to come.
The Joining.
I couldn’t let my mind wander too far down that path. Not because I was uncertain or afraid. But because I knew if I did think too much about it, I would only work myself into an anxious mess.
No one needed that.
I’d managed to doze off while Casteel bathed, and it had been strange to wake without Kieran there, curled against my hip.
Casteel came out of the bathing chamber, dressed in his breeches. “You and those silly straps again,” he said, a dimple appearing as he tugged on one of the thin straps. “How are you feeling?”
“Good.”
He arched a brow.
I laughed softly. “I’m feeling okay. Only because I’m trying not to think about the fact that we have an entombed god in our stables.”
“Yeah, I think everyone is trying not to think about that.” He sat beside me.
The breath I took was shallow. “Where is Kieran?”
A slight grin reappeared. “He’s waiting for us.”
My stomach took another tumble. “Okay.”
Thick lashes lifted, and golden eyes met mine. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “I do. You?”
“Of course.” He drew the strap up my shoulder.
“And Kieran?” I asked. “He still wants to do this?”
“Yes.” The smile played over his lips. “That’s why he’s waiting for us.”
My stomach spun again. “Then what are we waiting for?”
Casteel chuckled. “For you.”
I started to stand, but he clasped my cheek. “What?”
“Nothing.” His left palm found mine, pressing our imprints together. “Nothing except that I’m in love with you. That I will always be in love with you, from now until our last breaths.”
My heart swelled as I leaned into him, filling with emotion so powerful and deep that words couldn’t even capture what I felt. “I love you.”
Casteel kissed me, taking my mouth softly with his. It was one of his sweet kisses. The gentle kind that left every part of me warm—even the cold, hollow parts. “Ready, my Queen?” he whispered against my lips.
“Ready.”
Wearing cloaks and what little clothing we had on underneath, Casteel led me out from the chamber and down a back hall. We left the manor unseen through a set of doors that led to an overgrown garden that Kirha would have enjoyed.
It made me think of Jasper. “Where is Jasper?”
“With my father and Hisa.”
“Not Vonetta?”
“I think she’s with Emil.” He arched a brow as he led me down the walkway. “Something’s going on between them, isn’t there?”
“You’re just now realizing that?”
He snorted. “Better question is, has Kieran figured that out?”
“I think he was just beginning to when we left Oak Ambler.”
His grin kicked up a notch. “Thoughts and prayers for Emil.”
“More like thoughts and prayers for Kieran if he tries to intervene. Vonetta likes Emil. I don’t think she’ll take all that kindly to Kieran not minding his business.”
“True.”
With Cas’s hand firmly wrapped around mine, we entered the Wisteria Woods and went beyond the inner fortress wall, deeper into the forest. The sound of rushing water grew closer as we wandered through the twining vines, appearing a silvery purple in the moonlight. As we walked, Casteel talked about how Kieran and he had made sure they wouldn’t get lost in the tunnels they had explored when younger. They used to mark the stone walls with their initials, and I wondered if that was what they’d done now. If Kieran had carved his name into the trunks, allowing Casteel to know exactly where to find him in the maze of heavily clustered trees.