“Saturday,” he said. “I’ll make sure she comes to the gallery on a day when you’re here.”
“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to give you the whole time off while she’s here. I can’t promise anything.”
“She understands,” Mark assured her. “We also have a full Sunday planned and we have New Year’s Day, too.”
“Why don’t we close the gallery on the thirty-first? I’m sure Trinity won’t mind.”
“That would be great.”
“I’ll make it happen. As a boss who understands the importance of spending time with the people you love, I mean.”
“Okay,” he agreed. He closed the lid of the Altoids tin before looking up at her again. “If you could have anything you’d like for Christmas, what would that be?”
The question caught her off guard. “I don’t know,” she finally offered. “I guess I’d say that I’d like to turn back the clock and move to Washington, D.C., right after Bryce graduated. And I’d beg him not to join the special forces.”
“What if you couldn’t turn back the clock? What if it’s something in the here and now? Something that was actually possible?”
She considered it. “It’s not really a Christmas wish, or even a New Year’s resolution. But there are certain…closures that I’d like while I still have time. I want to tell my mom and dad that I understand they always did what they thought was best for me and how much I appreciate all their sacrifices. I know that deep down, my parents have always loved me and been there for me, and I want to thank them for that. Morgan too.”
“Morgan?”
“We may not have had much in common, but she’s my only sister. She’s also an amazing mother to her daughters, and I want her to know that in a lot of ways, she’s been an inspiration.”
“Anyone else?”
“Trinity, for all he’s done for me. Luanne for the same reason. You. Lately, it’s become very clear to me with whom I want to spend my remaining time.”
“How about a last trip somewhere? To the Amazon or something like that?”
“I think my traveling days are behind me. But that’s okay. I don’t have regrets on that end. I’ve traveled enough for ten lives.”
“How about one last feast at a Michelin-starred restaurant?”
“Food tastes bad to me now, remember? I’m pretty much living on smoothies and eggnog.”
“I keep trying to think of something else…”
“I’m fine, Mark. Right now, the apartment and the gallery are more than enough.”
He stared at the floor, head bowed. “I can’t help wishing that your aunt Linda were here for you.”
“You and me both,” she agreed. “At the same time, I wouldn’t want her to have to see me like this, to have to support me in the difficult days ahead. She already did that once for me, back when I needed it most.”
He nodded in silent acknowledgment before glancing at the box on the table. “I guess it’s my turn to give you your gift, but after wrapping it earlier, I wasn’t sure whether I should give it to you.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know how you’ll feel about it.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Now you’ve got me curious.”
“Even so, I’m still hesitant to offer it.”
“What’s it going to take?”
“Could I ask you something first? About your story? Not about Bryce. But you left out something.”
“What did I leave out?”
“Did you end up holding the baby?”
Maggie didn’t answer right away. Instead, she remembered those frenzied couple of minutes after birth—the relief and exhaustion she suddenly felt, the sound of the baby crying, the doctors and nurses hovering over both of them, everyone knowing exactly what to do. Hazy images, nothing more.
“No,” she finally answered. “The doctor asked if I wanted to, but I couldn’t do it. I was afraid that if I did, I would never let go.”
“Did you know then that you were going to give away your teddy bear?”
“I’m not sure,” she said, trying and failing to re-create her thought processes. “At the time it felt like a spur-of-the-moment thing, but now I wonder if I’d known all along that I would do it.”
“Were the parents okay about it?”
“I don’t know. I remember signing the papers and saying goodbye to Aunt Linda and Gwen and then suddenly being alone in the room with my mom. Everything is pretty hazy after that.” Though it was the truth, talking about the baby triggered a thought she’d kept locked away over the years, and now it came rushing back. “You asked me what I wanted for Christmas,” she finally went on. “I guess I’d like to know whether all of it had been worth it. And whether I’d made the right decision.”