“He didn’t want you to know,” Victor explained. “Not until he was sure the leg couldn’t be saved. That’s why he was in such a hurry to get to Switzerland. He hoped the specialist at the clinic would have better news. Unfortunately, the medical consensus is that the leg has to go.”
My hands went to my face in shock. The loss of a leg would be a terrible thing for any person, but for someone like Willie, someone who loved athletics and feats of daring—
I sank down into a chair, bereft. So obvious was my distress that Victor had to get me a drink. Meanwhile the Chapmans rushed to my side, guessing their son had broken the news. “Oh, Beatrice, darling, we had no idea until we saw him.”
Victor was abashed. “Uncle Willie made me keep it from everyone.”
Jack Chapman, who had himself undergone an amputation, patted his boy’s shoulder with his remaining hand. “Water under the bridge now. We mustn’t worry overmuch. The operation is serious, but your uncle Willie is filled with courage. He scheduled the amputation for this week.”
I all but screeched with panic. “This week? I need to go to the train station. I—I need to be with him. I’ll send for my bags.”
“Beatrice,” Jack said gently. “He doesn’t want you there.”
Smote to the heart, I was no longer willing to take that as an answer.
* * *
—
“How the devil did you get a connection through?”
Just hearing Willie’s voice on the other end of the telephone line made my hand shake. “You’re not the only one who can call in favors, and the ambassador couldn’t bear to see me cry.”
Willie didn’t reply. He was probably trying to guess what I knew. The jig was up, and all I could do was replay our last horrible fight in my mind. My husband had somehow got himself to a luncheon on a paralyzed leg, and before he could tell me about the possibility of an amputation, I’d asked him for a divorce.
What a cruel harpy I must have seemed!
And what was it he’d said?
I’m afraid it simply would not be in your best interests to divorce me at this time. Perhaps, in a short time, you’ll find that things have changed.
He’d been thinking he might die. That I’d be better off as a wealthy widow instead of a divorcée. Realizing this, I wanted to heave up the lavish embassy meal into the wastebin. “Why didn’t you tell me about your leg?”
“Because I can’t bear to see you cry either.”
I smeared my tears with the back of my hand. “If you’d told me, I’d have gone with you to Switzerland. I’d have tended you until—”
“Exactly what I feared you’d do.”
So he’d quarreled with me instead. Now, since I couldn’t reach for him through the line, my fingers gripped the oak base of the telephone with its engraved eagle. “This is why you sent me and the boys away last autumn . . . you knew you might have to have your leg amputated.”
“There was also a war going on. Regardless, the last thing I wanted was my boys to see me as an invalid. I hoped I’d heal. I didn’t. Now I’ve just got to have the leg off and be done with it.”
My heart ached for him in this hour of anguish. Trying to steady myself, I blew out a breath. I’d expected to sail home soon with Emily, but I couldn’t abandon him now. “I’ll take the first train to Switzerland.”
“Beatrice, if I’m to bear this with courage, I can’t have any of you here. That’s why I sent Jack and Elizabeth away.”
At least the Chapmans could say they’d visited my husband’s sickbed, whereas I’d been kissing a handsome French officer, and now I hated myself for it. “Just what do you expect me to do, Willie? I ought to at least be there when you wake up, to hold your hand and—”
“Hold my hand after I’m up and walking again, home with the boys.”
I swallowed in surprise. “You’re coming home to New York after the surgery?”
“It’s about time, don’t you think? With Freddy Vanderbilt’s death, there’s the hotel to think about. And I imagine you’ll still want your divorce . . .”
My eyes squeezed shut. He must have thought I was the worst kind of ingrate! After all he’d done for me . . . and he didn’t even know I was a jezebel. Emotions ajumble, I was certain of only one thing. “Even when I was so angry at you I could spit, I told you I’d do anything for you. That’s still true, Willie. Please tell me what I can do.”