He lifts his gaze to mine and something unspoken passes between us.
“Okay.”
He begins unwrapping our burgers as I sit down next to him. “I asked my housekeeper to pick these up from one of my favorite places in LA. They’re really good.”
They smell and look amazing.
I’m about to dig in, but a morbid thought occurs to me. “I know the instruments are the same and stuff, but this isn’t the futon, right?”
He takes a big bite of his burger…avoiding the question.
Narrowing my eyes, I reach for the Styrofoam cup of soda at my feet. “You can’t use that tactic twice in one day, Walker. Answer the question.”
His words come out muffled due to his mouth being stuffed. “I plead the fifth.”
I poke him in the ribs. “Phoenix.”
He strokes his thumb along his bottom lip before licking ketchup off it. “It is.” He laughs at my horrified expression. “You asked.”
Disgusted, I shake my head. Sure, I threw the sheets out and I was beyond grateful to discover that the mattress underneath was black, but it’s still gross.
“I…it looked like a murder scene.” I take a bite of my burger as another thought occurs to me. “Poor Storm. He’s been unknowingly sitting on a mattress full of my…hymen.” Bringing the straw to my mouth, I take a sip of my soda. “You’re a terrible friend.”
Phoenix laughs. “Relax. I washed it later that night.” His expression turns sheepish. “And Storm knows.”
That’s news to me. “What do you mean, he knows?”
His tongue finds his cheek. “You left the sheet in his garbage can, and Grams made him take out the trash every night before he went to bed. Plus, he walked in on us during…” He shrugs. “It wasn’t all that hard for him to put two and two together and figure out that I popped your cherry that night.”
“Half popped,” I maintain. “Sex doesn’t count unless you finish.”
A smirk plays on his lips. “That’s not how it works, sweetheart.”
I stop eating. “Okay, first, don’t sweetheart me. Ever. Secondly, I don’t make the rules, so don’t get mad at me.”
He reaches for a napkin. “Who made these rules then, huh? Because I’d like to put in a complaint and request a revision.”
Damn him. He looks so genuinely upset it’s adorable.
I’m sticking to my guns, though.
“Wow. For someone who had their own rule about not screwing virgins, you seem to really want to take credit for the job.”
“Damn right. And the sooner you admit it, the sooner we can put this argument to bed for good.”
Nope. I refuse to let him win. “I lost my virginity to you and Doug Goldstein at the end of my freshman year at Dartmouth. You both share the title.”
His nostrils flare and his jaw hardens. “I don’t share, Lennon. Not when it comes to you. This Doug Goldstein douchebag can go fuck himself. He doesn’t get to take credit for something I did.”
Sucks, doesn’t it.
“I—”
“You told me you didn’t regret it,” he says gruffly, his features going slack. “It was the very last thing you said to me…before I fucked everything up.”
I should tell him that’s no longer true, but then I’d be lying.
Despite what happened after, at that moment I wanted to give it to Phoenix, and nothing will ever change that. Not even my stubbornness.
“Technically, I didn’t finish with Doug, either.” I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “Fine. Virginity, yes. Girlfriend, no. Happy?”
Phoenix watches me carefully, so much so I’m beginning to think there’s sauce on my face.
“Do you ever think about what would have happened with us if I didn’t fuck everything up?”
A sharp wave of pain impales me. I’ve thought about it more times than I care to admit, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
“No.”
He looks taken aback by this. Sighing, he pushes his half-eaten burger away. “I think about it all the time.” His eyes cut to mine. “We’d still be together.”
He says it like it’s an indisputable fact.
But as much as I’d like to believe that, there’s this little thing called reality…and even if he hadn’t stolen my song, we never would have worked out.
No matter how much I loved him.
“Fine. Let’s play pretend.” Grabbing a napkin, I wipe my hands. “You really wanna know what would have happened if you pursued things with me?”