Inclining his head, his lips ghost over my ear. The threatening tone of his voice sends a shiver through my body. “Don’t you dare cry for me.” I wince when he grips my chin between his fingers, forcing me to look up at him. “I don’t want your bullshit martyr tears. And I sure as fuck don’t want your pity.”
The despair brewing in my gut turns to anger.
I want to help him, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be his punching bag.
“Fuck you. Just because you have a shitty life doesn’t mean it’s okay to push away the people who care about you and treat them like trash. Neither of us had a choice in the hand life dealt us. I hate that yours is so awful, and if there was a way I could swap with you, I would. However, I also know you’re not the first person who’s had to crawl their way out of the gutter and you won’t be the last.”
I wipe my tears with the back of my hand. “And for your information, I don’t pity you, because horrible father aside, you have everything I want.”
Pure envy burns through my veins as I unleash every bit of pain I keep inside onto him. “You don’t have to fear entering a room or meeting someone new because people don’t make fun of you. They fucking worship the ground you walk on.”
Losing what’s left of my composure, I punch my chest. “You’d die for the things I have? Well, I’d kill to know what it’s like to be you. To be so fucking talented and mesmerizing people can’t take their eyes off you. I’d kill to experience even just a tiny fraction of that magic you talked about in your essay.” A lump rises in my throat and my voice cracks. “But I never will.”
Because I’m not special.
I go to shove him away so I can leave, but he catches my wrist.
“What are you doing?” I seethe as he drags me over to the keyboard.
“You want to know what it’s like, don’t you?” He lowers the mic stand. “Fucking sing.”
If I thought he was unhinged before, it pales in comparison to right now. “Are you crazy? No—”
He grips my face. “Stop being a fucking coward and sing.”
I should run right out that door…but I can’t.
The allure of the sun is too strong. Like a tsunami pulling me under.
I stare down at the keyboard. “I don’t know what to sing.”
He stands behind me. “Anything.”
I go with the one I sang for him last time.
The lights flicker and the power goes in and out as I press down on the ivory keys, causing me to mess up the first few notes.
Phoenix’s lips brush the shell of my ear. “Close your eyes. And no matter what happens, don’t you fucking stop. Got it?”
Nodding, I squeeze my eyes shut and begin. My pulse drums in my ears so hard it nearly overpowers my voice.
Gentle fingertips run down my arms, leaving goose bumps in their wake.
I stumble over the lyrics when his lips graze my neck and I feel his cock harden. “Don’t stop.”
My head feels hot and heavy as his warm breath gusts over my skin and he runs his hands down the sides of my waist.
The realization that he’s touching my body and what he’s feeling makes me tense up. “Pho—”
A sharp bite has me gasping. “You’re not the one in control.” His tongue darts out, soothing the sting. “Keep singing.”
God help me because I do.
I sing my heart out as I transform into someone else. Someone who’s confident and skilled.
Special.
With a low grunt, Phoenix grinds his massive erection into my ass, like he can’t help himself.
Another rush of adrenaline spirals through me, but it’s quickly followed by a trail of nerves when he palms my breast.
Sadly, I didn’t get the consolation prize that tends to come with being a big girl. While I have slightly more than a handful, they’re not huge. I’m afraid Phoenix will be disappointed.
His voice is a rough scrape against my shoulder blade as he pinches my nipple through my bra. “Get out of your head.”
It’s a struggle to swallow past the panic, but I know if I don’t, it will ruin this moment and I won’t get another one.
Stuffing down my anxiety, I force myself to go to that place again. The place where I no longer have control of my mind or body, because I’m a vessel for something far more powerful.
Heat blooms over my chest and face when his hand disappears under my T-shirt. When he reaches my bra, he tugs it down and plumps my bare breast in his big hand.
The note I was singing comes out breathless, but I keep going.