“I ate a twinkie.”
His eyebrows draw together. “So what? Twinkies are good.”
I avert my gaze as shame snakes up my spine once again. “I ate the whole box.”
Dammit. Why am I being so candid with him?
My heart thuds painfully against my ribs with awareness.
Despite what he did, Phoenix is the only one who didn’t judge me—or make fun of me—when I let him see the ugliest parts of myself.
As it turned out, I didn’t need to invent a secret world for us.
Because Phoenix Walker saw me—and for one fleeting moment—he wanted me.
Just the way I was.
Those blue eyes sear into my soul…like he already knows everything I’m feeling, but can’t bring myself to say.
After what feels like an eternity, his gaze drops down my body in a slow perusal that has the tiny hairs on my arms lifting.
“Perfection is unattainable, Lennon. But from where I’m standing, you’re the closest thing to it. Now and—”
Suddenly, his nostrils flare, and he brushes past me.
A moment later, I hear water running in the bathroom.
“What are you doing?”
I get my answer when he storms back out…holding a wet washcloth.
Oh. My. God.
Humiliation is a boulder rolling downhill and picking up speed.
I’m just as embarrassed as I was the first time he saw the words.
He motions to the end of the bed. “Sit.”
As I do, he wrangles the T-shirt from me.
Then he kneels.
The first swipe of the warm washcloth against my thigh makes my chest cave in.
Exhaling, I look down.
His gaze is dark with intent and his jaw is tight as he attempts to scrub the ink off my skin without hurting me.
My throat prickles with tears because it’s not the moments when he’s an asshole that hurt me the most…it’s moments like these.
I don’t understand how the guy who’s trying to wash away the cruel words I wrote on my body…is the very same one who caused me so much pain it put a crack in the foundation of my psyche and irrevocably changed me.
“Did you have sex with Sabrina that night?”
I don’t know why I’m asking because I’m positive I won’t like the answer.
The hand scrubbing my stomach freezes.
His silence stretches for so long I don’t think he’s going to answer.
But then I hear it.
“No.”
The fingers gripping the side of my thigh twitch. “Did you fuck him last night?”
“No.”
But I was so upset I probably would have if I didn’t have my period.
His gaze lingers on my mouth and his stare turns threatening.
Like it belongs to him.
“Did you kiss him?”
This is my opportunity to wound him the same way he wounded me by bringing Sabrina here…
But he just gave me honesty. For once.
“No.”
He stands up. “Get some sleep.”
He’s almost to the door when another thought occurs to me. Or rather, a question. One I desperately need an answer to.
“Phoenix?”
He twists around to face me. “Yeah?”
“Why didn’t you have sex with her that night?”
His throat flexes, almost like he doesn’t want to utter his next words.
Like he’s ashamed.
“I didn’t want to break my promise to you.”
I’m having trouble merging what he just told me with his actions, because it’s a complete contradiction.
Even though he didn’t sleep with Sabrina, he still intentionally made me think he did so he could steal my song.
Sure, he didn’t break his promise…but he still broke my heart.
Broke me.
He averts his gaze. “There’s a ticket for tomorrow night’s show at will call.”
The abrupt change of subject nearly makes my head spin. “Ticket for who?”
“You.”
That makes about as much sense as him not sleeping with Sabrina. “Why?”
I don’t know what to make of his expression. “You’ll find out if you come.”
That’s all I get before he goes back to his room.
When I look down, all the words are gone.
However, when I take a closer look, I can still see a faint outline shadowing my skin.
It’s another reminder that even though pain can fade…it never really goes away.
“Why are we here?” I scream over Phoenix’s melodic raspy voice as he belts the second to last song of the night.
Skylar shrugs as he runs to the other side of the stage and holds out his mic. “Beats me. Phoenix just told me I’d wanna be here for this.”