Kristin could see how the incident had made him suffer. She had also been thinking about it constantly ever since. There was no escaping the fact that in this situation, Erlend was left with even less honor than she was. And she felt that now they were truly one flesh; she would have to answer for everything he did, even when she disliked his conduct, and she would feel it on her own hand when Erlend so much as scratched his skin.
Three weeks later Lavrans Blorgulfson came to Oslo to get his daughter.
Kristin was both afraid and sick at heart when she went to the parlatory to meet her father. The first thing that struck her as she watched him conversing with Sister Potentia was that he didn’t look the same as she remembered him. Perhaps he had not actually changed since they parted a year ago, but over the years she had always seen him as the young, vigorous, and handsome man she had been so proud to have as her father when she was small. Each winter and each summer that had passed up there at home had no doubt marked him and made him age, just as they had seen her develop into a grown-up young woman—but she had not noticed it. She hadn’t noticed that his hair had paled in some spots and had acquired a rusty reddish sheen at his temples, the way blond hair goes gray. His cheeks had become dry and thin so that the muscles of his face extended like cords to his mouth; his youthful white and pink complexion had grown uniformly weather-beaten. His back was not bowed, and yet his shoulder blades curved in a different manner beneath his cape. His step was light and steady as he came toward her with his hand outstretched, but these were not the same limber, brisk movements of the past. All of these things had probably been present the year before, but Kristin simply hadn’t noticed. Perhaps there was a slight touch of something else—a touch of dejection—that made her see these things now. She burst into tears.
Lavrans put his arm around her shoulder and held his hand to her cheek.
“Now, now, try to calm yourself, child,” he said gently.
“Are you angry with me, Father?” she asked softly.
“Surely you must realize that I am,” he replied, but he kept on caressing her cheek. “But you also know full well that you needn’t be afraid of me,” he said sadly. “No, you must calm down now, Kristin; aren’t you ashamed to be acting this way?” She was crying so hard that she had to sit down on a bench. “We’re not going to speak of these matters here where people are coming and going,” he said, sitting down next to her and taking her hand. “Aren’t you going to ask me about your mother? And your sisters?”
“What does Mother say about all this?” asked his daughter.
“Oh, you can imagine what she thinks—but we’re not going to talk about that here,” he said again. “Otherwise she’s fine.” And then he began to tell her all about everyone back home, until Kristin gradually grew calmer.
But she felt as if the tension only grew worse as her father refused to say anything about her breach of promise. He gave her money to distribute among the poor at the convent and gifts for the lay sisters; he himself gave generously to the convent and to the sisters, and no one at Nonneseter had any other thought than that Kristin was now going home to celebrate her betrothal and her marriage. They both ate the last meal at Fru Groa’s table in the abbess’s room, and the abbess gave Kristin the best report.
But all this finally came to an end. She said her last goodbyes to the sisters and her friends at the convent gate. Lavrans escorted her to her horse and lifted her into the saddle. It was so strange to be riding with her father and the men from J?rundgaard down to the bridge, along the road on which she had crept in the dark; it was odd to be riding so nobly and freely through the streets of Oslo. She thought about the magnificent wedding procession that Erlend had spoken of so often. Her heart grew heavy; it would have been easier if he had taken her with him. There was still a long time remaining for her to be one person in secret and another in public with other people. But then her gaze fell on her father’s aging, somber face, and she tried to convince herself that Erlend was right after all.
There were other travelers at the hostel. In the evening they all ate together in a small room with an open hearth where there were only two beds. Lavrans and Kristin were to sleep there, for they were the foremost guests at the inn. The others left when it grew late, saying a friendly good night and then dispersing to find a place to sleep. Kristin thought about the fact that she was the one who had sneaked up to Brynhild Fluga’s loft and allowed Erlend to take her in his arms. Sick with sorrow and the fear that she might never be his, she felt that she no longer belonged here, among these people.