I splashed her as she pulled herself up on her board to seated. 揟ell me.?
She laughed. 揘o. When was the last time you kissed someone??
揂 couple days before you held me down and blackmailed me.?
She rolled her eyes and tried not to grin. 揑 didn抰 hold you down.?
An image of us in bed flashed into my head. My bed. Hannah on top of me, holding my wrists down with a shy smile. Me pretending to be at her mercy.
Blood rushed to my groin. Thank fuck my lower half was under water.
This didn抰 happen. I didn抰 get hard-ons from chatting with a woman, both of us clothed, neither of us touching.
揢niversity. Give me your leash.?She held her hand out and I unwrapped it from my ankle before tossing it to her.
揥ait, university? Bookworm, that was years ago.?
Now she really looked embarrassed, and I mentally slapped myself. Asshole.
My heart sunk in my chest. 揃ookworm.?
She shrugged, studying the beach. 揑 know, okay? I could say that I haven抰 found anyone I liked but we both know I didn抰 try. I tried a dating app a couple years ago but everyone on there was either a tourist looking for a threesome or someone I went to high school with.?Her mouth pulled into a wince and she shuddered. 揑t wasn抰 for me.?She grimaced, glanced at me, and chewed her lip.
揧ou look like you want to say something.?
She pressed her mouth into a line before she took a deep breath. 揇o you think Beck抯 going to want to厰 She made a noise in her throat.
揇o I think he抯 going to want to what??
揌ave sex tonight??Her voice was high and squeaky, like when we were on the sidewalk in front of her store and she was asking people out.
My brain skidded to a halt.
Beck. Trying to sleep with Hannah. With his hands on her. Touching her hair. Pulling the hair tie from her ponytail.
My skin was too tight. Frustration rolled through me with nowhere to go. I studied a scratch on my board. 揑 don抰 know.?
Her chest rose and fell with another deep breath. 揑 don抰 like it.?
揝ex??My voice was hoarse. Keep it together, I warned myself. I had the bizarre urge to make Hannah feel safe, like she could tell me anything. I didn抰 want her to be embarrassed for asking me these questions.
She nodded. Her face burned red.
Well, that answered my virgin question. 揟here抯 a lot to unpack there.?
揢gh.?She lay down on her board. 揟his is so embarrassing. Let抯 not talk about it.?
揘o,?I said, too quick before catching myself and toning it down. 揕et抯 talk about it.?I cleared my throat. 揥hy do you not like sex??
She shifted on the board, floating away, and I grabbed the edge to pull her back to me, despite the leash attaching my board to my ankle.
Her fingers dipped in the water. 揢m. When I hooked up with that guy back in school, it棓 She made a noise, a mix of anguish and frustration. 揑t didn抰 hurt, exactly棓
Rage. Yep. That was what this feeling was. Pure, white-hot rage rattled through my veins. Someone touched Hannah and they?
揑t wasn抰 the magical experience that I always read about in books.?She covered her face with her hands. 揙kay, I抦 going to go die now. My funeral is next week. Please bring flowers.?
I was going to ask this guy抯 name, find him, and then beat the shit out of him.
Whoa. No. What the fuck? I wasn抰 the guy who got into fights. Deep breaths. Breathing. Calm. Safe space for Hannah.
揧ou didn抰 have an orgasm.?I held my voice steady and light, like we were talking about what we were going to eat for breakfast. Something neutral. Something that didn抰 make me want to fucking kill someone.
She gave a laugh of disbelief. 揘ot even close.?
I didn抰 know where to start. 揥hat did he do wrong??
揑 can抰 believe we抮e talking about this. I don抰 talk about this with anyone. Not Avery, not Liya, no one.?
Pride washed over me. Pride and pleasure. She trusted me enough to talk about this stuff.
揥e just didn抰 connect.?One hand rested on her stomach, the other still dipped into the water, fingertips skimming the surface. The end of her ponytail had fallen into the water and fanned out, floating and following the motions of her board.
揇id you tell him what you wanted??My gaze was glued to her face, watching for clues while she stared up at the blue sky.
揘o.?
揥hy not??Same casual tone. Just me trying not to picture Hannah in bed with another guy, that抯 all. Doing great. Not filled with a confusing horny rage.
揢m.?She stretched a foot out.
I tried not to stare at the curve of her tits under the wetsuit. I failed.
揑 guess I didn抰 know what I liked either? He棓 She broke off with a noise of disgust. 揑t was like he watched too much porn.?