But he had this car.
He bought it when my brothers and I were teenagers. For years, he searched for a specific make, model, and color, and when it was finally available, he called the guy that day, test drove it, and rolled it into our garage.
He loved that vintage, emerald green Porsche 911. He forbade my brothers and I from driving it. In our mid-twenties, he had allowed us to drive it while he sat in the passenger seat. This car was his fifth child.
I had come here today with the intention of asking him to borrow it for my date with Hannah tonight. I wanted to make her feel special. I wanted her to know she was worthy of effort and something memorable.
His mouth hitched into a grin as he dried his hands on a tea towel. 揧ou have that look about you.?
揑抦 afraid to ask.?
He moved to the cupboard and pulled down a glass. 揥ater??
I shook my head. 揘o thanks.?
He turned the tap on to fill the glass.
揙kay, I抣l bite. What look??
The grin on his face was ear to ear. 揝ame one Emmett had last year.?
My heart wrenched in my chest. I wanted that with Hannah. Hearing it from my dad, the possibility of having what Emmett and Avery had, it choked me up with a mix of feelings. I waded through them in my head but they clouded my mind.
My dad clapped me on the shoulder. 揇on抰 overthink it.?
揥hat do you mean??
揇on抰 talk yourself out of it. Trust your instincts.?
Holden walked into the kitchen. 揥hat are you doing here??
I snorted. 揥hat are you doing here??
揗om said the tap was leaking in the guest bathroom.?
I made a face and pointed at our dad. 揥hy can抰 Dad fix it??
My dad shrugged. 揝he likes to create problems for Holden to solve to lure him over for lunch.?
A laugh burst out of me and Holden scowled. 揂re you fucking kidding??he asked.
My dad抯 tone was warning. 揇on抰 tell her I told you that.?
Holden grunted and rolled his eyes. 揑 won抰。？
My dad opened the drawer where he kept the car keys and tossed them to me. Holden watched with a frown.
I caught them and leaned against the counter, crossing my arms at Holden. 揓eeze, no wonder half the women in town are afraid of you with a mug like that.?
He frowned deeper, gaze snagging on the keys in my hand. My dad started pulling things out of the fridge in preparation for dinner.
揝ay it.?Defensiveness clawed up my throat. If he said one negative thing about Hannah or whatever we were doing, I didn抰 know how I抎 react.
He lifted one shoulder in a shrug, the tension easing a fraction from his features. 揑t was nice to have Hannah here for dinner.?
The fight left me. 揙h. Yeah.?
揧ou抮e clearly head over fucking heels for her so don抰 fuck it up.?
I choked out a laugh. 揑抦 not going to fuck it up.?
Holden snorted. 揙kay.?
揥e抮e厰 My voice trailed off and both my dad and brother stared at me, waiting.
揧ou抮e what??Holden asked.
揌anging out.?The second I said it, it felt wrong, like a lie. I frowned. I had told her I thought about us married, about her pregnant. That I was falling for her.
How could I explain it to them, though? If I said it out loud, it was real. Panic rose in me, tightening around my chest. 揑 have to go.?I backed out of the kitchen and held the keys up to my dad. 揑抣l return it in the morning. Thanks.?
He waved me off and Holden watched with a skeptical expression.
In the garage, I lifted the protective sheet off the car, started it up, and eased it out of the garage.
As I drove through the streets of Queen抯 Cove, waving to people I recognized, I thought about my aunts. Aunt Bea used to bring Aunt Rebecca coffee in bed in the mornings. I remembered her moving around the kitchen that was now mine, humming to herself, pouring coffee and adding cream right up to the rim.
The day she dropped Aunt Rebecca off at the care facility, her sobs traveled through the bedroom door. I had grabbed my board and left because I couldn抰 bear to listen.
In the Porsche, I passed The Arbutus as Avery walked out and her mouth dropped when she spotted me in the car. She pointed at me.
Maybe this was a bad idea.
The bookworm抯 beaming smile flashed into my head and my throat knotted. Fuck.
Husband. Pregnant.
When I spoke with the agent on the phone, the agent had told me to plan to be away for most of the year. 揙h yeah,?she had said. 揥hen you抮e not competing or training, you抣l be doing work with sponsors. You should get a roommate or someone to watch your place.?
Hannah could move into my place while I was away. I could come home to her in my bed.
And expect her to wait for me? A couple times a year, drop my bags at the door and pull her to my chest, show her how much she meant to me before I left the next week?