Nobody said it. But I can feel the tension, the glances in my direction.
I don’t need an accusation to feel guilty. Erin is dead because of me.
Shaw did it, I know it. He must have come here looking for me. And when he found my room empty . . . Erin was the next door down.
“Why was she in your bed?” Joanna asks, cutting through Carrie’s soft whimpers.
“I don’t know.”
It’s not hot enough that Erin would have gone in there to sleep. Shaw must have carried her in there, before or after he . . . did whatever the fuck else he did to her.
“Did any of you hear anything?” I ask the others, not meeting Joanna’s eyes even though her room is right next to Erin’s.
“I heard a thud,” Carrie says, miserably. “But I didn’t know—everybody’s so loud all the time. I didn’t think anything of it, I just went back to sleep.”
She dissolves into sobs again, huddled up against Peter’s shoulder. She’s getting snot all over his sleeve, but Peter just pulls her closer, cradling the back of her head with his hand.
“What about you?” Heinrich says to Joanna.
“I had my earplugs in,” Joanna says, irritably. She’s always irritable when she’s upset, choosing anger over vulnerability. It’s why nobody fucks with her.
“Where were you?” Melody demands of me.
Melody is the newest roommate, and I don’t know her as well as the others. She’s skinny and pinched-looking, her short black hair sticking up in all directions, and her slippers slapping against the linoleum as she resumes her pacing.
I don’t know if she meant to sound accusing, but now she, Joanna, Frank, and Heinrich are all staring at me.
“I was at Cole Blackwell’s studio,” I admit.
“All night?” Melody persists, her head jerking toward me like a bird trained on a worm.
“Yes,” I say, stiffly. “All night.”
Usually this would stir up a barrage of intrusive questions from Frank. Only this level of awfulness could keep him quiet.
Our last two roommates, Joss and Brinley, come stumbling down the stairs, blinking sleepily. The sisters are wearing matching robes, equally battered and equally full of holes.
“What’s going on?” Joss asks.
“How come there’s water dripping into our room?” Brinley says.
Before anyone can answer, two cruisers pull up in front of our house, followed by an ambulance. The lights are on but no sirens announced their arrival.
“What the hell?” Joss says.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see Cole’s name on the display.
I pick up, turning away from Joanna’s frown.
“Why are there cops at your house?” Cole demands.
I hurry out of the living room, phone pressed against my ear and voice lowered so the others won’t hear.
“How do you—”
“Never mind that. What are they doing there?”
“He killed Erin,” I whisper into the phone, my hand shaking as I try to press it close against my ear. “He killed her, Cole. In my fucking bed. I came home and I found her—”
“Who have you told?” Cole interrupts.
“I—what do you mean?”
“Don’t tell the cops anything,” Cole orders. “Not a fucking thing.”
“I have to tell them! He killed Erin. He killed all those other girls too, I’m sure of it.”
I’m hurrying deeper into the house, trying to prevent any of my roommates from overhearing, but already the cops are banging on the door. I’ve got to get back out there.
“They’re not going to be able to do anything,” Cole says. “You’ll only make it worse.”
“How can you possibly—”
“What are you doing?” Joanna says.
She’s followed me all the way back to the dining room. Her arms are folded over her chest and her eyes are narrowed, no hint of the usual friendliness between us.
I end the call abruptly, stuffing the phone back in my pocket.
“That was Cole,” I say.
Joanna jaw shifts, like she’s chewing on something I can’t see.
“The police are here,” she reminds me. “They’re going to want to talk to you.”
I follow her back out to the living room, my heart already racing. I’m sick and guilty. Cole said I should keep my mouth shut, but there’s no way I can do that. Erin is dead. Shaw killed her, I’m certain of it. He needs to be locked up, today, right this minute.