He leaned forward and set his cup down. “I’m sorry, Lillian. I’ve gone on and on. Tell me to stop, will you?”
“No. I want to hear it. I want to hear everything.”
He was quiet for a moment and looked away. “Maybe I should be grateful that we’re calling it quits now, rather than dragging things out for years when neither of us is happy because we don’t have anything in common. Truthfully, I can live without Kate, but I can’t accept being away from my children. That’s what’s killing me right now. I don’t know how I’m going to survive this.”
Lillian reached for his hand and squeezed it. “You’ll get through it, and you’ll get a good lawyer who will make sure that you’ll stay a part of their lives.”
He shook his head. “Los Angeles is halfway across the world.”
“You can go there and visit. And they can come here. They must love it here, Anton. What child wouldn’t?”
He finished his coffee and set the empty cup on the tray. “Can I use the bathroom?”
“Be my guest.”
He stood up and left the room. While he was gone, Lillian carried the tray to the sink and rinsed out the cups, then stacked everything to wash in the morning.
She heard the water running in the bathroom. Then the door opened, and Anton emerged.
Lillian wiped her hands on a tea towel and faced him. His brow was furrowed. He leaned his shoulder against the doorjamb between the hall and the kitchen and pressed the heels of both hands to his eyes.
“Oh, Anton . . .” She approached him. “Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be fine.”
He shook his head. “I’m afraid I’m going to lose them.”
She took his face in her hands. “No, you won’t. You’re their father, and you’ll always be a part of their lives. You have this beautiful piece of paradise to share with them. They’re going to love coming here. And one day, they’ll bring their own children here.”
His eyes glistened with dampness, and she pulled him into her arms, where he drew comfort from her soothing words and gentle touch. His shoulders heaved with emotion, and he whispered into her hair, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being here.”
Lillian drew back. “I’m grateful that you hired me. I know it might sound strange, but I feel completely transformed by this place. For the better. And you’ve been in my thoughts, Anton. Quite a bit.”
“You’ve been in my thoughts too. Ever since the first moment I saw you.”
His words filled her with exhilaration, and she couldn’t think about Freddie. He didn’t even exist for her in that moment. All she could do was tremble with the hope that all her powerful bottled-up longings would finally be fulfilled. Anton stroked her hair. The next thing she knew, she was pressing her cheek into the firm muscles of his chest. He held her close, tight against him, his big hand cupping the back of her head, and she felt as if she were dissolving into him somehow, that everything in her life had brought her to this moment. For the first time in her trifling existence, all seemed right with the world.
She had never been the type of woman to romanticize anything. She had always been overly practical, sometimes to a fault, but on that night, in Anton’s arms, she felt as if she were being swept away on a powerful current of soulfulness. Her desire for him was unfathomable, and it wasn’t just physical passion. It felt, unbelievably, like love. The kind of love that people wait for and dream about all their lives. The kind of love people died for. It hardly seemed possible that she’d only known him a few weeks. It seemed like he had been inside her heart forever, just waiting to step out of it, into her world.
The apartment was sweltering. Lillian felt almost dizzy. Her flesh was damp with perspiration. She lifted her gaze and looked up at Anton with a sense of wonder, and he smiled. His happiness moved her to tears.
“I’ve been smitten,” he said, “since you climbed out of that mangled car, fell to your knees, and seemed to worship the ground beneath your feet. Then I took you to the hospital . . . and your husband was in the back seat . . . but it was as if he didn’t exist. I told myself it was the shock of seeing your car go off the road. That it was adrenaline or something. But every day since, each time I saw you, I’ve loved you more.”
Lillian felt weightless. “It’s been the same for me. Freddie picked a bad time to leave me.”
She wished she hadn’t mentioned Freddie. She didn’t want to think of him. She didn’t want to face the dread of an inevitable pain that would come when she woke from this beautiful dream and had to face reality. Being in Anton’s arms was the only reality that mattered to her now.